Arthur and Benjamin

写给所有家庭条件一般的年轻人

2012-01-31T16:37:00.000-08:00

http://www.wenxuecity.com/news/2012/01/31/gossip-73019.html
http://www.douban.com/group/topic/19193834/?start=0
http://www.tianya.cn/techforum/content/395/26494.shtml

“学好数理化，不如一个好爸爸。在中国是这样，在美国也是这样。”我的初中政治老师站在讲台上说着，声音里带着三分讥讽、三分怨忿甚至是三分义愤。我完全理解他的话，不然我不会今天还记得。但我又没有完全理解他的话，不然我不会今天才想起来，才大彻大悟而不是在之前求学的若干年就能经常想起来。

学校主要是以学习成绩论地位的，再加上一些学生活动也就把人定了位，家庭的力量体现不大，所以我们常常在走上社会之后才对这一点有深刻感触。正如我和原来我班的状元在讨论我与他如今的处境，以及其他一些原本并不努力但因家庭底子好，父母权力大而获得良好处境的同学作对比时总难免唏嘘感慨。

感慨过后就得思考，不然就白感慨了。思考的目的是挖掘根源并寻找解决办法，不然就白思考了。如果你正是这样一位家庭条件一般的青年或少年，例如你的父母是农民、工人，或者普通的职员、低层的干部，看看我们这些年来总结的精华一定大有裨益。即使你的家庭条件良好，只要你的父母不是极优秀、有相当地位的人，看看本书也有一定的帮助。而且，越早明白这些事越好。

家庭条件一般给我们带来了什么

1.金钱的匮乏

这是最显而易见的。衣食住行都和条件好的家庭有明显差距。而且退一步讲，就算我们不和人家比吃比穿，人家以金钱换来的优势就足以让我们干瞪眼的。我是学习很努力的，尤其到了高三几乎没有一天睡觉超过8小时，更别说娱乐休假了。当然智力因素摆在这儿，咱也不是华罗庚陈景润，就是熬白了头发也不一定能冲击个状元什么的，但是从偏远的西北地区(录取名额少，好专业比例低)考上浙大也算不错的成绩了，何况又是女生学理工，不容易的，地球人都知道。就在我们忙着考试和报志愿的时候，我的一个同学没有参加高考，直接花钱去美国读本科了。我们那时候出国度门课还不像现在这样普遍，那是属于非常时尚和奢侈的事情。她的老爸是属于既有文化，又赶上了潮流而先富起来的那一批人，在我们当地买着最好的楼盘。她托老爸的福，吃的用的东西都是非常让人惊叹的物品，用那句话说叫“只拣贵的，不拣对的”。想想当年我还并不羡慕人家，因为我的成绩好，而她并不用功，成绩也是在班上四十名开外。所以在学校这片小地方，她的江湖地位是无论如何也赶不上我的。而物质享受嘛，更是丝毫诱惑不了我这样意志坚定、党性十足的人的。可当我大学毕业辛辛苦苦干起销售的时候，人家已经读了美国的金融学硕士，然后进入渣打银行的核心部门了。要知道，从国内申请出国读金融专业就有难度，而进渣打银行这样的地方就连我们名校的毕业生都不一定有机会。当我还在听着磁带拼命学英语的时候，人家拿起电话和老外哌哌哌就是一顿说。语速那叫一个快呀，整个就是一托福听力。如今我不得不羡慕了，人家老爸的钱是没白花。

工作中差异更大了。一些家在农村的朋友，毕业了就得往家寄钱，换个工作也是瞻前顾后生怕接续不上换房贷。大家要都这样也就罢了，只是人一比人，就要气死人了。像我一个熟人，30多岁，打从大学毕业就没上过班，老爸给创业资金，他自己找几个项目，这个不行做做那个，就算干不成惊天动地的大事，干个几十人的小公司也足以过得不错了。

由于金钱的匮乏，可能我们无法得到良好的教育，无法用钱为自己开路，甚至社交都受到一定的影响。我朋友家里负担重，老婆没工作，父母在农村，儿子上了大学一个月才给500块钱。同学过个生日这孩子连凑个份子给同学买蛋糕的钱都没有，不能不说是一定程度上影响了和同学的融洽关系。虽然我们并不鼓励学生铺张浪费，但一种气氛一旦形成你个人想超越它脱离它恐怕有一定难度，何况家庭条件好的孩子并不一定会站在他的角度上去想，往往他们想的是“大爷你咋这么抠捏?”

2.人脉关系的不足

看看你家里都有什么人来，看看你老爸一周有几次饭局，看看家里都摆着什么烟什么酒什么礼盒，再看看你老爸老妈在给别人送什么烟酒什么礼盒，就知道你们家的人脉圈子是个什么情况了。

如果你老爸一星期连一次饭局也没有，家里逢年过节超不过三个花花绿绿的盒子，那你们家的人脉力量就接近高危线了。一个人的力量是一，假如他认识十个人，这十个人都可以帮助他解决问题，这样十个人的力量都加在他身上就变成了十，而这十个人每个人都再认识十个人，于是他的力量就变成了一百。如此连接，人际关系形成一张大网，很多个人力量解决不了的问题通过人脉网就可以解决了。可惜我们一般条件的家庭没有这样的资源，而且就算有一些零星的渠道，没有金钱也很难在这张大网上行走。就像我高考时提前志愿报了军医大学，档案一递上去就已经乱成了一锅粥，招办的老师忙着接来自各处首长的电话，手里的条子压得像书一样厚。我的父母虽没有本事，但爷爷奶奶还是相当级别的干部，虽然老早退了休不在职，但凭着老脸找到个把关系还是可能的。我父母勒紧了裤腰带拿出5000块钱(90 年代西北的工人阶级认为这已经是一笔大钱了)给人家拿去疏通关系，人家一看牙都笑掉了：“同志呀，这个当零头都不够哇。看看你孩子的造化吧。”几天以后，好几个比我分低的同学都录取了，我出局了。圣人说过，“成绩好不是万能的”，我这才信了。

如今我的客户是煤炭行业的央企，于是我就不可避免地接触到了与煤炭挖掘、运输和销售有关的各色人等。只要家里有关系的都参与了开煤矿，或者搞起了煤炭经销，关系再强一些的都搞起了上千万甚至上亿的生意。有一个小老板，家里一个亲戚在国营小煤矿当领导，另有一个亲戚在当地的银行。于是就靠这两样，人家就白手起家了。这可是真正的白手起家，贷款拿了煤(这煤只卖她不卖别人，煤是紧缺资源是卖方市场)，在手里压几个月到了秋冬季价位高的时候出手。这样一年只做一两次生意就有五六十万的进账，其他时间全用来吃喝嫖赌。虽然我并不拥护吃喝嫖赌，但我拥护五六十万的进账啊，于是我跟她说老姐我跟你混吧，人家一听笑了：“妹子俺们不要大学生，公司就我一人，剩下的都是煤堆里扛煤挑煤我临时雇的，你来也扛煤去?”我没话了，圈内人排斥圈外人啊。我一个小蚂蚁般的角色倒无所谓了，只可惜早期的好多温州商人在煤炭行业不景气的时候到这里开矿，如今煤炭火爆了，当地利益集团就把没有人脉的温州人全挤出去了。多年的心血毁于一旦，又跟谁说去呢?刚才提到的还只是女流之辈，是煤炭圈子的小羚羊。而角马级别的都有自己的矿了，每年百万到千万不等。至于狮子级别的，那就是和最高利益集团联系在一起，由于众所周知的原因，我在这里就不便描述了。

我们做大客户销售也是一样，我们销售的产品或者是高技术含量的设备，或者是额度很小的必备设备用品。你要问为什么不能做别的东西呢?我告诉你像这样的央企或政府客户，有许许多多的人围绕着它在做生意，其中很大一部分就是这些企业或机关单位领导的子女、亲戚或朋友。那些合同额度大、技术含量低的工程项目都让他们揽过去了，剩下一些技术门槛高、他们没能力做的产品和一些额度太小、他们不屑于做的产品才是我们这些没有根基的企业要考虑的内容。

再说一些大家容易理解的情况。比方说如今公务员考试异常火爆，但那些肥缺的差事恐怕不是仅仅分高就能拿得到的。国家划了一条线那是智商的竞争，只要过了线那就是情商和关系的竞争了。于是八仙过海各显神通，最终折桂者那是天时地利人和缺一不可。同样的，在石油、电信、电力等待遇超好的央企和一些事业单位，你要是没有过硬的技术或特殊本领而只想争取一个是人都能干的一般岗位，如果没有系统内的关系恐怕是连一丁点儿的可能性都没有。金融危机的时候中石油裁员，下的全是些没有背景的，加油站的工人首当其冲，而每个加油站的三四个站长(远远超编了)却还稳坐钓鱼台呢。

3.教育的缺陷

认识这一点就有难度了。“穷人的孩子早当家”，“自古英才出寒家”这类话和“龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞”形成了两派观点。到底哪种观点更有道理呢? 你会说都有道理，恭喜你，答对了(王小丫)!家庭条件一般的孩子往往在吃苦(尤其是物质上的)、节俭和生活自理方面更胜一筹，有一些还往往有强烈的通过奋斗改变个人和家庭现状的愿望，这些都是非常良好的品质。而家庭条件好的孩子经常在知识面、思维能力上表现出优势，一些干部家庭的孩子经常具有出众的为人处事的能力，有的很小就具有了领导才能。

虽然两方都各有优势，但最终的比例会怎样呢?统计数据显示，最终成为人才的，出自教师家庭的高居榜首，其次是干部、商业精英等，而农民和工人子弟排在最末，比例也少的可怜。不论你在任何一个国家调查，比例都大致相当。统计数据压倒性地说明了家庭条件一般的孩子绝大多数都表现普通。那，为什么呢?除了因为前面所讲的金钱和人脉的缺乏以外，更重要的是教育上的缺陷。

那我们就一起来看看这些教育的缺陷。

一、读书方面教育的缺陷

这个好理解。平凡的父母自己的文化水平就有限，如何能指导孩子念书呢?连孩子碰到的一道题都做不出，更谈不上在方法和思路上指导孩子了。我印象中我妈就只指导过我先乘除后加减和说过写作文要多用比喻句才不会变成流水账，此外就无能为力了;我爸就只教过我经线是竖圈纬线是横圈和地球是圆的，此外一道数学题都做不出，于是之后就全靠我自己了。那些我开了窍的科目学得都还顺利，开不了窍的像数学、历史，也就一直没有找到方法，也没有人指点，只好算了。那时候我们都特羡慕父母是老师的同学，觉得他老爸 (妈)教的那一门课他就不用愁了。后来才发现，老师的孩子大部分门门课都不赖，因为他得到了学习方法和思路的指导，自然一通百通了。我一个熟人是化学博士在外企做技术，老婆是中学物理老师，他们儿子如今在人大附中名列前茅，想本科考去哈佛读呢。我在想人家是怎么教育的，一次和他们一起吃饭，发现在饭馆等上菜的时候人家孩子就拿出练习题做了起来，随时有任何疑问随时问父母，连吃肉的间隙都思考着肉的物理状态，调料的化学反应。父母的指导当然都不是直接的告知，而是引导他思考：“宝贝你想XX遇到XX会怎么样呢?下一步又会产生什么呢?条件呢?……”孩子再笨在这种气氛中也能学会思考，何况人家两口子的基因怎么会生出笨儿子呢。

虽然羡慕人家感慨自己，但现如今比起万恶的旧社会那真是天上地下了。感谢共产党，感谢新中国，感谢红太阳，我们有了公立学校，有了义务教育有了希望工程，所以只要你肯学，就算父母没力量指导你，学校的老师也会帮助你。所以读书的过程还不算是一个大问题。真正的大问题在于父母如何向你解释读书的意义，这可是个难度系数为7.0的问题。一般的父母会说，“好好学习才能找到好工作，找到好工作才能找着好媳妇，找着好媳妇才能……”，虽然目的导向是对的，但并没有言中学习的真正作用——储备知识，锻炼思维，进而增强能力。所以孩子们也只知道考上大学能找好工作，至于为什么能，自己也说不清楚。而且学习只重目的，过程中就缺少了趣味性，学习也难免会成为任务和负担。如果能让孩子知道学习的过程中自己的思维得到了训练，方法得到了加强，他就明白了学习的根本作用也能在每一阶段更喜爱学习。

遗憾的是理解到这个程度的家长真是寥寥无几，而且面对现今大学生找不到工作的社会大现实似乎就更难以说服孩子了。所以这一点始终是普通家长教导孩子念书时的最大缺陷。

二、为人处事方面的教育缺陷

学校是不会教育你如何为人处事的，即便有思想品德课老师也只是讲讲空泛的道理而你也未必就真听得进去。真正的做人的教育在哪里呢?全在家里呢!每个父母都有自己习惯的一套做人方法，他也习惯性地把这套原则方法传授给孩子，因为他觉得这样做是对的，否则他这辈子就不这样做了。但许多普通的父母就没有想到，他这辈子的不成功是否和自己的为人处事方法有关呢，如果有关系，那他还能把自己的老一套再教给孩子吗，让孩子也一辈子不成功?

我一个大学同学成绩很好，人也很有才气。我见过他父母，父母对他的教育很上心，时时处处都在与他沟通。他们家是南方人，难免精细些，但精细到了一丝一毫都不肯吃亏的程度。在假期结束搬宿舍时为了避免帮女生搬东西他居然连开学报到都推迟了三天。于是男生都来了，就缺他。女生虽然没说什么但提起他都认为他是有意不来的。他是省力气了，但另一件事却费力气了：他在追求班里一个女生时让人噼头盖脸就给拒绝了。也怪他不走运，恰好那个女生是个大侠性情，最看不上这一号人。所以即便后来他围着那女生跑前跑后人家还是说了：“不用装了，你以为把马甲脱了我就不认识你了?”这叫栽的一个惨啊，不知道那当妈的怎样想她教育宝贝儿子的方法，她可是精打细算一辈子啊。

其实为人处事这方面教育的缺陷主要体现为：1.重小利;2.不善交往;3.做人做事缺乏技巧。

重小利本身并没有什么大不了，只是争夺小利会损害人际关系，让周围的人对你有意见有看法。而人际关系受到损害势必会影响你在重大利益上的得失。这样一进一出，最后就不划算了。所谓“拣了芝麻，丢了西瓜”。

不善交往也是一大问题。父亲母亲自己本身就不善交往，甚至是不喜欢交往，孩子在生活中根本无从观察人际交往的细节和正确方法。

像我父母就不喜欢和人交往。除了单位里的两三个同事以外，他们不和任何亲戚朋友来往，见了领导也是绕着走那一类的。我印象中我们家几乎没有人来过，我爸也从来不到外面喝酒，我们一家三口仿佛过着与世隔绝的日子。如果这世上真有世外桃源呢我想我们家还真就算一个。不过这所谓的世外桃源让我也形成了习惯：在学校只和一两个同学关系好，跟老师就像两个世界的人，从不深谈更不亲近。即使有一次我破天荒地想请同学来家里玩也被我妈拒绝了：嫌麻烦。你想，这种环境中我能知道人际关系为何物?所以上了大学我就感到比别人落后了，不得不花了很多时间来补充学习这种能力，以致于当我具备了人际交往的意识和能力时已经比别人晚了好几年，可悲啊。

我公司副总为了培养女儿的社交能力经常把她带在身边，参加公司的活动、聚餐、旅游。他女儿才5岁但和我们这些大人都能说上话，非常招人喜欢，而且一肚子的心眼比同龄的孩子不知强了多少倍。这恐怕就是早打基础的收获。

还有就是做人做事的技巧问题。有不少人，人品朴实厚道，专业技术也不错，可就是一直没上去，这些人大部分是由于做事缺乏技巧。我一个朋友技术不错，原单位破产倒闭后又自谋了一份职业，收入不高还要养活一大家子人，负担很重。于是他把自家的楼房出租了自己搬到平房去住以补贴家用。可就这样每次朋友聚餐他都抢着买单，而且拦都拦不住。过节时谁要送他一点小礼之类的他都会两倍、三倍地还礼回来。他心眼是真的不错所以交际中花了许多本不该他花的钱。要是经济条件好也就算了，讲个仗义大家也都觉得他够哥们，可他自己都捉襟见肘呢，这一下更困难了。老婆也埋怨他，孩子上学也紧张，有时候还要借钱。可他对单位领导却从不这样热情，所以干了一辈子还是个普通工程师。他孩子虽有时也对他不满但做起事情来却和他一模一样，经常花了力气不讨好，干事倍功半的事。但这也怨不得孩子，他在生活中从来就没看见这些做事的技巧方法在哪，让他怎么学呢。

三、思维习惯，行为习惯的教育缺陷

优秀的人和普通的人工作和生活习惯差异很大。很多优秀的人上班很紧张，下班也挺忙碌，每天晚饭过后还要处理一会儿工作或和业务伙伴谈谈事情，有的还利用空余时间学习充电。相比而言，普通人在同样的时间段干的事情可能就是看电视、聊闲天甚至打麻将。所以设想一下两种人的孩子在两种环境中各自会养成什么习惯。你指望打麻将家庭中的孩子自觉读书学习那确实是太不容易了。

思维方式差异就更大了。优秀的人遇到问题就想怎样解决，自己出了哪些问题要怎样修正。而普通人遇到问题首先是抱怨，其次再想别的，而且一般不会思考自己的毛病。两种思维方式都自成体系，从外表来看你看不出它们直接产生的后果，所以作为孩子特别容易承袭父母的思维方式。但是恰恰就是思维方式是优秀与否的根本决定因素。优秀的人分析世界，分析自己，改变自己以适应世界，提升自己以驾驭世界。平凡的人不分析世界，不分析自己，固守自己并总是希望世界为之提供良好的环境和馅饼。当然，他只是希望却无力改变，所以他的状况完全依赖于世界提供给他们的所谓命运。于是优秀的人在不断改变中更加优秀，而平凡的人在抱怨固守中更加平凡。我们的青年一旦承袭了一种思维方式往往就决定了一生的定位，而且直至终老也未必能发现自己的思维导致了自己的命运。

我的家庭条件为什么一般

说到家庭条件为什么不好，恐怕很多人从来都没有想过，或者想了也仅是想到种种不利条件造成了家庭的现状。这的确是一个重要原因，但还有另一个重要原因，那就是你的父母亲自身的问题，包括努力程度、能力、性格意志等等。这其实是一个显而易见的因素但我们却常常对它视而不见，应该说还是我们对于父母的爱让我们闭上了这只眼睛。爱是伟大的，但爱也不应蒙上我们的理性。实际上，父母自身的努力程度因素和外界条件因素所起的作用至少是1：1，甚至可能是1.5：1。不信你看看我的分析。

1.条件的因素

把责任一代代往上推那真是再容易不过了。你的祖辈没有打下良好的基础，因此你的父辈就没有条件接受良好的教育，没有可以往上爬的阶梯，也没有创业的第一桶金。这是祖宗带来的影响，你的父母奈何不得。还有社会环境的影响，时代的影响，机遇的影响，好像也奈何不得。例如你父母如果生长在文革时期，那似乎就注定没有读书的机会;如果他们把家安在黄土高坡的农村，就必定要接受流血流汗却没多少收成的事实;而你的老爸如果前面有一个和他同龄的科长一辈子没挪窝儿，那你老爸当一辈子科员也动不了窝儿绝对就是板上钉钉的事了。

这些条件，我们暂且称之为“不可抗力”。

2.努力的因素

若说父母自己不努力可能很多人要不服气。你要说老妈每天从早忙到晚没有闲着的时候，农村的老爸干农活每日都是汗流浃背，进城务工的也是起早贪黑。但你要注意他们忙的都是简单劳动，真正用在思考和进取上的时间真是掰着指头都能算出来。其实他们做这些重复劳动的时候大脑往往是空白一片，并没有思考下一步应该怎样做才能有所提高，所以他们也终日为重复劳动所累。因为只有进步了，才能摆脱重复劳动的命运。

我父亲就是一个活生生的例子。祖辈是高干条件好，将我父亲送去了部队(那时是好去处)，转业后送入名牌大学读无线电专业(相当于现在的计算机或金融专业的地位)，然后送入无线电厂(恐怕相当于现在华为用友这样的企业)当技术员。所有这一切都是他的父母利用特权替他包办的，照理说条件已经好得不能再好，已经登上直升飞机了。但他并没有就此飞黄腾达，而是一直在最底层岗位上待了一辈子，其间就转了一次岗，从技术变成了销售，直到企业改制而内退，如今在家已待了十几年，还没有到退休年龄呢。据我观察，他出差的时候是很辛苦，住便宜的招待所，一天跑好几个地方。但除此以外我从没有见他看书读报，学过业务知识，也从不在工作时间外多进行哪怕一点与工作和发展有关的事情。每天规定的任务结束了他就在睡觉看球和发牢骚当中度过，遇到问题除了怨父母怨社会以外就一筹莫展。所以当他的父母都从位子上退下来之后就没有人再能拉他，于是他就原地不动了，最后连岗位也保不住了。

当然这个例子比较极端，大部分人到不了这个程度。但绝大多数不成功的人都不能否认自身的不努力，你的父母也不例外。就算他嘴上不承认，内心里也是对自己有认识的。

所以条件的因素和努力的因素同时导致了你家状况的普通。那么哪个因素更重要呢?假如条件是河水，那么努力就是小鱼。河水可能会把小鱼卷进漩涡，摔上礁石，但小鱼也可以逆流而上，择水而行。最终鱼儿能不能到达目的地，你说是水的作用大呢，还是鱼的作用大?

如果水流太急太猛，没有鱼可以游过去，这就像农村失学的孩子，再努力也无法与条件抗争。但只要超出了这个标准，例如你父母在一定条件下收到过基本的教育，那这个水流对他们来说就没那么急了。这样的环境中，水与鱼的力量比至少是一半一半，只要鱼肯努力，完全有可能克服水的阻力的。所以分析一下你家的环境和你父母的意志努力，性格习惯，你对于你们家现状的成因就心中有数了。

什么样的心态才是正确的心态

客观看待我的家庭

父母对于我们的爱是毫无疑问的。不论父母心给了我们一个什么样的环境，让我们吃的是山珍海味还是杂粮野菜，我们都应以满腔的爱来回报他们。这一点上不应有任何折扣，不应以父母向我们提供的物质财富和精神财富以及机会财富的多少来衡量他们的爱有多少。因为这些财富的多少往往取决于他们的能力而不是意愿。只要他们的意愿是好的，我们都应该心怀感恩。

感恩的同时一定要留一只客观的眼睛，就像二郎神杨戬的第三只眼一样，永远能透过妖精的现象看到本质。这只眼是不受另两只眼影响的，我们也不要以爱、恨或其他一些情绪来左右我们的判断。知道家庭的现状，承认父母的弱点，对于我们正确定位自己和采取适当措施提供了依据。有的人很维护自己的父母，不许别人对他们有一点微词。当然这种爱是伟大的，但不要在维护中影响了你对他们的客观认识就好。因为一旦不客观你就很容易受他们的影响，沿袭一些不好的习惯。

这里我还想说一说，客观地看待家庭，同时也要客观地对待自己。有的青年出身于农村，往往带着一种自卑的心结。尤其是当他们猛然间进入大城市看到花花绿绿的世界简直会有一种晕头转向不知所措的感觉。再一对比自己和城市同龄人的穿着打扮，吃的用的，那一下就差了一个甚至几个档次。最让人不能忍受的是城市的同龄人怎么就那么见多识广，多才多艺呢?所有这些都让人不能不比，又不忍去比。越比，越会自卑。同样出身城市的青年也有差异，有的就可以吃西餐，穿名牌，来往车接车送;有的只能骑车，和父母挤大杂院，遇到漂亮的女生连上去说句话的勇气都没有，更别说追了。这些心情我都能理解，但我要劝导你们的是：在内心中要把自己和父母划分开来，这才是正确的心态。

什么叫做划分开来呢?就是让父母对他们自己负责，而你对你自己负责。一个人，只要对自己的行为负责，对自己的行为产生喜怒哀乐就可以了。别人的行为是你不能控制的，是与你无关的。如果你做了好事进步了，对自己产生喜爱与肯定是理所应当的;如果你犯了错误，那么生气自责也是必须的，这样才能督促自己。如果别人做了好事你大可不必高兴因为不是你做的，相反如果他人犯了错误你也不用不愉快因为不是你造成的。我之所以用这样大量的篇幅来解释这个问题就是因为想通这一点是很难的。家庭出身是你的父母带给你的，是你不可控制的。条件不好不是你造成的，同样由于条件不好而带来的种种与人家的差距也不是你造成的，你大可不必因此而自卑自轻。只要你在现有的基础上尽力做了事就应该为自己喝彩。相反，如果因自身的问题比如不够努力，能力不足等导致的状况倒应该引起你的足够重视，好好检省。

所以，不用管父母带给你什么条件，只要你自己尽力了，就值得骄傲。同时，也要客观看待你的同龄人，不要过于羡慕人家，更不要嫉妒人家，要清晰地看到他个人的因素起了多大作用，在这方面与之进行比较，而不要比那些我们控制不了的因素。这样一来，只要你认真对待你的工作和学习了，你就没有任何必要自卑。

努力奋斗

在起跑线就比别人落后的情况下，努力奋斗是我们唯一能做的事情。家庭条件差是一把双刃剑。你若受困于不良的条件而不努力，那就永远没有出头之日;但你如果披荆斩棘突围出来，恐怕还能练就一身刀枪不入的硬功夫，以后的道路上将所向披靡。而这种功夫是那些家庭条件好的人永远也没有机会得到的。这就是为什么富二代永远也赶不上白手起家的老爸的原因。所以这把双刃剑要怎么用，全在你自己了。

对待结果

奋斗是一种心态：一定要对得起自己。对待结果则应换另一种心态：对自己的所作所为要锱铢必较，对不可控因素则随遇而安。如果和不可抗力斤斤计较那就是和自己过不去了，最后不但于事无补还恶化了自己的情绪。所以就像上面写过的，人只要对自己的行为负责就足够了。心态放平才能延年益寿，不是吗?

cruise

2012-01-31T14:46:00.001-08:00

http://bbs.go2eu.com/archiver/?tid-291852-page-4.html

dessert for whitie

2012-01-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

Art and Ben wanted a bubble bath so we went to the big bathtub but found a few live crickets.
"go get whitie, dessert time!"

poor whitie, it suppose to be her bed time, but suddently she was put into a big deep white shinning bathtub. she was so scared, she was shaking! kids have to comfort her first. they also offered the crickets in front of her mouth. finally she ate them all. dessert time is over, she was send back to her coop, bubble times!

25 tips

2011-12-29T22:50:00.001-08:00

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/myhouse/2202073.html

家庭清洁卫生的打理和用品
http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&Id=571860

http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&id=1131930&page=1&star=2

Vintage wood: http://www.eandkwood.com/CONTACT.html

七岁的孩子真不一样

2011-12-22T11:00:00.000-08:00

七岁的孩子真不一样，昨天，爸爸去机场接姐姐，七岁的孩子帮我清理了客厅的餐桌，我们一起铺桌布，放花。七岁的孩子整理的自己的床，还第一次用了吸尘器。我奖励了他一个MARBLE！晚上的时候，发现他把自己的浴室也整理了一下！

七岁的孩子真是不一样

New Year plan?

2011-12-16T14:57:00.001-08:00

Jan 1st, Abao Ma

Jan 2nd, float tour

Jan 3: back to work

Vegas:
http://yumeat.wordpress.com/2011/11/10/wicked-spoon-brunch-buffet-secret-pizza-cosmopolitan-las-vegas/

金鴨子

1039 E Valley Blvd. #B102

San Gabriel, CA 91776

626 572-3885

oh, sorry for Ben!

2011-12-13T10:26:00.000-08:00

Arthur went to see the dentist to pull out a tooth. He came back and asked me for $1.
"why?"
"Cause I lost a teeth."
"OK." I didn't think too much, just gave him $1. Deep in my heart, I was curious about why he didn't ask money from tooth fairy.

We were listening to a song in my car, there is not Santa Clause. Arthur suddenly said that there is no Santa. Ben almost cried.
"There is no Santa, all Santa are fake. There isn't a tooth fairy, either."
"who gave you the dollars then? who bought all presents?" I asked
"parents"
"how do you know, who told you?"
"Oh, my friend in school" Arthur sounds so smart, and he is proud of it.

I was speechless. Oh, poor Ben. He hasn't lost a teeth yet! Tooth fairy hasn't visited him yet!

Arthur said that God is real, so does Budda. OK, let's see when will he says something different about them.

My sister worked on this video

2011-12-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

少时的记忆经历多年的尘霜已经模糊，扫去岁月的尘土，嘈杂的记忆，依然有爱的真情闪现。感谢爸爸教会我游泳，我得以继续教远远明明。感谢爸爸教会我骑车，那个蓝色的小自行车我仔细保养到上大学。感谢王西的精心制作，让我这颗满是陈年老茧的心在漫长粗糙的岁月里能有一些怀念和感动。

Letter from dad:

信收到，回嘱如下：

你们兄妹三人出生在国家贫穷困难的时期，全家老小缺吃少穿，爸爸工资103元，妈妈65.8元，每月给奶奶家50元，姥姥家50元，因为他们没有收入和生活来源。那个时候，吃饭要粮票，穿衣要布票，买东西要工业券，节衣缩食、艰难困苦，养老育小。为脱困进京读书，王燕寄养奶奶家，你寄养姥姥家，每月再各付50元生活费。所以，爸爸骑自行车在京各处讲学，工厂、中小学、大学、科学院，只要有挣钱的地方就去讲，开始每节6毛钱，后逐渐到每节5元，另外写书、发稿挣钱。爸爸著作等身，也是逼出来的。现在你们都成家立业了，有房有车，有存款，爸爸很高兴！你爸爸我，今年72岁，每周8节课，站着讲，挣些生活费以抗通胀，求生存。爸爸有信心，工作以来不花父母钱、不花子女钱、不花老婆钱，自谋口中食，有余力再帮助子女和学生。古稀之年，最大期盼：是你们三个孩子及配偶，平安、健康和幸福。最大愿望是，五个第三代成人、成功、成才。立身、立德、立名！祖上德厚，荫庇子孙。四代行医执教，积德行善。《易》曰：“积善之家必有余庆！”此嘱，父字。
2011.12.8

另：爸爸70寿辰，给所有来的42名学生写了一封信，谈了四点：时间、空间、情感、期盼，随发给你们看看。

诸同学雅鉴：

人生易老，转瞬古稀，逝者如斯，大江东去。
深谢厚意，不远万里，九九归一，珠海相聚。
切磋学问，同学少年，两鬓清霜，儿女成行。
悠悠苍天，慷慨涕泣！
千百同学，各奔东西，五湖九州，天地各异。
诸君德高，敬业劳绩，祈祷祝福，鹏程万里。
青山永在，绿水长流，功业已成，怀德念旧。
百年人生，血脉相承，学缘义重，手足亲情。
新恩常有，旧义永留，天命不惑，无欲无求。
老骥伏枥，志存千里，庄周梦蝶，老聃养颐。
万事兴替，风吹烟雨，天佑善人，亨通元吉。

七十岁书赠诸同学
二零一一年十二月十二日

touched by my son

2011-11-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

Ben was bothering me this morning. He insited that I dress him instead of himself. I wasn't in good mood. I vent my anger at him by slapping on him. He was scared and started crying. Arthur came. Usually he will be scared but he was not.

He talked to Ben: Ben, calm down. Mom just want you to dress yourself.

He said it several times. My anger was gone. I went to hug him.

Ben was still after me complaining about his socks. I almost get angry again. Arthur was after him: Calm down, Ben. It is alright with that sock. Mom just want...

I was so surprised. Both my husband and I give him kudos at breakfast table.

He said that he learned this from his good news after school club. You calm down that person first, then try to solve the problem. He also learned in trust with god, kindness, be nice to enemy. He also has trust in budda too.

I was so deeply touched. I felt that I am so poor for not having much love in my heart. I have never been touched by the love from god like this before.

If Arthur asks me to go to church, and go to heaven with him. I think I will.

Kitchen

2011-11-16T13:52:00.001-08:00

pot rack:
http://www.between3sisters.com/2010/07/how-to-install-in-cupboard-pot-rack.html

Flashmob, President retired

2011-11-10T09:14:00.000-08:00

I don't remember that I have danced after college. I am the one in the white.

President is really surprised. Everyone is so happy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsEDUGiuQfo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Marine Labs in LA

2011-10-18T13:06:00.000-07:00

Arthur loves sea life. I am planning a day trip for his 7th birthday.

http://www.lacorps.org/sealab.php#visit

http://www.cabrillomarineaquarium.org/

http://www.mobilemarinelab.com/

positive psychology

2011-10-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

哈佛大学开放课程：幸福课

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WiS8CgYm8M&feature=related

Arthur's first week on campus

2011-10-10T09:17:00.000-07:00

In order to save $380 per week, I dropped Arthur off and have him stay on campus.

His dad somehow picked him up earlier than usual. He took him home, then went to do yard work. Arthur just watched pokeman.

Tuesday is a banked day. Student was released at 1:30. Arhur went to a free bible afterschool until 3, then go to auditorium to practice flute. He ends up asked me a lot of questions about what is God, is he alive and so on. I have to tell him about budda. I am not a faithful buddist, but have to tell him all about it so he won't become a stubborn christian.

On Wednesday, it was rainning heavily. It is so hard to convince myself not to pick him up from his school. there is a shelter, there are a lot of other kids, he got to get used to this kind of life, grow up.....It turned out that I was worried too much. At the time when my husband picked him up, all kids are in a big room watching TV.

On Thursday, he went to luklele class and somehow finished part of the homework.

I am pretty happy with his first week. He is asking me to pick him up later today, which is a good sign.

ZT:教你如何轻松宴请老外

2011-10-04T13:35:00.000-07:00

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/1082430.html

无论吃辣和不吃辣的都喜欢的菜（家里有的干货的话，可以在炒菜时加很少一点，如2个木耳，2个香菇，这样还可以增加一点颜色）热炒：西兰花炒牛肉等各种蔬菜炒牛肉，土豆肉丝，鱼香肉丝，木须肉，豆豉西芹抄猪肉丁，芹菜豆腐干炒肉丝，面筋塞肉，豇豆肉末，肉末炒毛豆，蚂蚁上树，各种烤排骨，西宁鸡，宫保鸡丁，虾仁海鲜煲，西芹炒虾仁，水晶虾仁等蔬菜类：拍黄瓜，蒜泥西兰花（等各种蒜泥炒蔬菜），鱼香茄子，地三鲜，拌海带点心类：饺子，春卷，炸鸡腿，虾肉烧卖，珍珠丸子，荷叶糯米鸡米饭类：炒米粉，炒面和各种蛋炒饭，但不要做汤面，老外不会吃。

Old tile of Bathroom

2011-09-28T09:43:00.001-07:00

It took me 4 months to remove the dirty carpet in our bathroom! What surprised us is that there was old tile under it, even it only covers half the floor, and got damaged with carpet installation, still, it is tile.

I tried to clean the tile, no good result:

http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&Id=1036199&page=3
baking soda,borax,hot water 1：1：1, stay 10 minutes

How to install tile over wood subfloor
http://www.hammerzone.com/archives/flooring/tile/prep1/cement_backer.htm

她带着毫无血缘关系的孤儿去留学

2011-09-15T09:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=331&ID=1030779

邹晓晶，山东渚城人，1992年考入清华大学机电工程系，1999年获得硕士学位，同年因成绩优异被美国佛罗里达州立大学录取攻读博士。但从她接到录取通知书到真正踏上赴美留学之路，却整整拖了一年的时间，而且险些丧失了这个赴美深造的大好机会，而这一切，竟然都是为了一个素不相识的来自贵阳的毫无血缘关系的孤儿…… 　　一　　1995年寒假过后，邹晓晶得到通知，自己已经被保送攻读本校的硕士研究生。这样，她就可以省下准备考研复习的时间，到外面打点工，挣点钱，让父母喘口气。邹晓晶来自山东诸城农村的一个家庭，家境贫寒，父母供养几个孩子读书，非常吃力。　　事实上，邹晓晶从1992年考入清华大学无线电系就一直没有间断勤工俭学。她在学校的收发室帮忙分拣邮件。　　就在邹晓晶知道自己被保送研究生的那几天里，她在分拣邮件的时候很意外地发现了一封没头没脑的来信。信封上用铅笔歪歪扭扭地写着清华大学餐厅，爸爸收。也没有落款，笔迹非常稚嫩，好像是出自一个小学生的手。看邮戳，是从贵阳寄来的。这分明是一封死信，也就是说，不可能投递，也没有办法退回，只能交邮局处理了。但信封上歪歪扭扭的字迹却让邹晓晶心里一动，她拆开了信封，希望能找到一点投递的线索。　　信是写在香烟盒的锡箔纸背面的　　爸爸，你好，我是你的儿子冬子，你不要我了吗?你走了之后，姐姐很快也走了，我现在在白菜街要饭吃，总是被人打，你快来节(接)我吧，我活不下去了。上个月我给饭店的老板刷碗，他说我刷得不干净，用榔头敲我的头，现在头还发晕，我还给他看小孩，我看着看着就睡着了，他脱下鞋底就打我的脸，爸爸我真的活不下去了，你快来节(接)我吧，我能给你搓麻绳，给你卷旱烟。　　邹晓晶看了这封信，心一下子就揪紧了。她把信拿到宿舍跟同学们一起商量，分头到学校各个餐厅去打听有没有从贵阳来的人，谁的儿子叫冬子，一个星期过去了，却没有任何线索。有两个老家在贵阳的厨师，说贵阳根本没有“白菜街”这个地方。　　邹晓晶觉得又是奇怪又是失望，她到书店买来一本贵州省地图册，翻开贵阳市区图，真的怎么也找不到什么“白菜街”。她又给贵阳的114查号台打电话，查白菜街街道办事处的电话，人家答复她根本就没有这个地名。　　1996年4月初，毕业生实习的时间到了。邹晓晶已经被保送读研，不需要参加毕业实习和论文设计。原本可以利用这些时间到外面兼职多挣点钱的，邹晓晶自愿报名去边远地区参加论文设计，在申请表实习去向一栏，邹晓晶认认真真地填写了两个字“贵阳”。

二　　邹晓晶选择贵阳有两个原因，一则，贵阳是我国大型机电企业和科研机构集中的地方。再则，她对那封信和“冬子”还是念念不忘。她猜想“白菜街”肯定是一条特别小的巷子，所以大家都不知道，但只要有这个地方，到了贵阳肯定就可慢慢打听。　　邹晓晶到贵阳之后，先去实习的单位报到，然后马上到处打听“白菜街”这个地方。很多在贵阳生活了一辈子的老人听了这个名字都感到很茫然。她又去市政府地名办公室查阅资料，包括贵阳几个郊县，都没有“白菜街”这条街道。邹晓晶彻底失望了。　　有一天，她正在车间实习的时候，偶然听见旁边的工友对另一个人开玩笑说：“你有本事到白菜街去撒野啊。”邹晓晶一听，心里一动，赶紧拉住那个工友问“你说的白菜街在什么地方啊？”那位工友笑着说：“其实没有白菜街这个地方。我们贵阳的小伙子有句俗话：‘城东的小伙帅，城西的小伙呆，城南的小伙人人爱，城北的小伙是烂白菜’，这条白菜街呢，就在城北。” 　　邹晓晶一听，又惊又喜，马上打车直奔城北。　　一下车，邹晓晶马上就体会出了这里为什么叫做“白菜街”街道上污水横流，路边堆着垃圾，苍蝇四下飞舞，路边的民房都是破旧不堪。邹晓晶逐门逐户地去打听，冬子从小就有点痴呆，小学还没上完就退学在家。父母都不喜欢他，而且经常因为这个孩子争吵，三年前冬子的父母离婚，谁也不想要他。冬子的爸爸到北京打工，据说后来在清华园开了一家餐厅，寄回来200元钱后。再也没了消息。去年冬子的妈妈跟别人跑掉了，把冬子孤零零地扔在了白菜街。最初的时候大家都可怜他，还给他吃的穿的，后来邻居们发现这个孩子偷东西，就不再管他了，那封没头没脑的信是一个刚上二年级的小孩子帮他写的。　　自告奋勇领路的人将邹晓晶带到了一个破旧的院落里，冲着里面大声喊“冬子，你爹叫人来接你了。” 　　院子里堆满了鸡毛和鸡的内脏，一个瘦骨伶仃的小孩呆呆地站在院子中间，肩膀上扛着一个竹筐，里面满满的都是死鸡。听见有人叫他，又看见邹晓晶走了进来，呆住了。邹晓晶一看孩子瘦成那样，心里一阵酸楚。她上去拉住孩子的手说：“冬子，你爸爸让我看你来了。” 　　她把冬子带回自己实习的工厂宿舍，先给他打了一份饭，看着他狼吞虎咽的样子，邹晓晶心里更难过了。接着又让孩子去洗澡，换上一身新衣服，仔细一看，其实还是一个长得蛮清秀的孩子呢。

三　　在这段时间里，邹晓晶除了在车间实习，把全部时间和精力都放在了冬子身上，她带着冬子去逛商场，去游乐园，去动物园看老虎，似乎要把冬子遭遇到的这些不幸都弥补过来。每当冬子问起什么时候去看爸爸，邹晓晶就说“等姐姐实习完了再说，你爸爸在一个很远的地方等着你呢。”看着孩子开心的笑脸，邹晓晶自己也觉得非常幸福，至少，自己没有猜错那封信。　　孩子是找到了，可是孩子的未来怎么办呢，为了给孩子一个稳定的前途，邹晓晶又奔波于各个部门之间。她先找民政局，希望政府能收养冬子，但民政局说冬子又不是孤儿，他的父母都在，再说，福利院经费紧，收养手续也很严格。邹晓晶一着急，就去公安局反映说冬子的父母有遗弃罪嫌疑，把孩子扔在街头不管。就在公安局里，她意外地得到了另一个让她更为震惊的消息早在半年前，北京警方就曾经致函贵阳公安局，请求协助通缉冬子的爸爸，原来冬子的爸爸干餐厅经营不善破产，走上贩毒的道路。　　路路断绝，怎么办?自己一个学生，连自己都养不活，怎能养活另外一个人，并且又是这样的一个人，冬子不知道钱是什么，去超市的时候，如果饿了，伸手拿了就往嘴里塞。别人冲他要钱，他就任凭人家随便拿多少，原来想先找到孩子，慢慢再为他找到爸爸，现在爸爸没可能找到了，邹晓晶又不忍心将这样的孩子抛回白菜街。　　还没等邹晓晶想好，实习时间已经结束了。1996年5月中旬，邹晓晶领了实习鉴定书，反复考虑之后，邹晓晶把身上还剩下的几百块钱都塞到冬子口袋里，坐公共汽车把冬子送到白菜街车站，告诉冬子说：“你在这儿等我一会儿，我去去就来。”冬子好像发觉了什么，沉默着点点头，没说话，邹晓晶赶紧转身就走，就像干了什么坏事似的。

回到宿舍，邹晓晶收拾行李，再有两个小时就要登上回北京的特快列车了。这时候天色已晚，街上华灯初上，邹晓晶觉得脸上一阵阵地发烫，心神不安地走来走去。她似乎看见在昏暗的路灯下，冬子正在一个人孤零零地站着，爸爸抛弃了他，妈妈抛弃了他……想到这里，邹晓晶心里痛苦极了，她匆匆打车，直奔白菜街，在渐渐深重的夜色里，冬子还在沉默地等待着，邹晓晶一把把孩子揽在怀里，禁不住泪如雨下，她终于没有等到巨大的后悔侵袭之后，才知道未完成的心愿是一生中最大的一份礼物。　　带着冬子回到北京，邹晓晶过了整整三年的不堪回首的艰难生活。　　为了安排冬子，邹晓晶在学校附近租了间小小的民房，让冬子一个人住又不放心，就用帘子把屋子隔成两半，自己睡在外间的木板床上。冬子以前受的刺激太多，经常在梦中惊叫起来，她就赶紧起来，握住冬子的手说“没事没事，姐姐在呢。”房租，再加上冬子的生活费用，邹晓晶在收发室帮忙之外，又找了一份打扫楼梯的勤工俭学工作，每个月多出300元钱的收入，可以勉强把生活维持下去，懂事的冬子极力地帮着姐姐做家务，也不问爸爸去哪里了。有时候邹晓晶主动提起来，冬子反而说：“我没有爸爸，就跟着姐姐过。” 　　有一次邹晓晶正在背诵外语单词的时候，没想到冬子也跟着背诵了起来，而且吐字清晰，字正腔圆，邹晓晶很惊讶。她故意把其中的几个单词背错了，冬子也跟着背错了，邹晓晶想也许这孩子并不是天生的痴呆，就有了让孩子学习的念头，她找来一些初中阶段的语文课本，没想到冬子竟然过目不忘，很快就能倒背如流。邹晓晶带着孩子到医院检查，医生说“这孩子智力发育比较奇怪，记忆力出奇地好，但逻辑能力很低。这样的人如果好好培养绝对是人才。”这让邹晓晶又惊又喜

四　　1999年3月初，喜讯传来，由于邹晓晶在参加电子对撞机实验中的出色表现，美国佛罗里达州立大学给邹晓晶提供了全额奖学金，让她赴美攻读博士研究生，但是在办理出国手续的时候，却出了麻烦。　　1999年4月初，邹晓晶带着通知书和护照到美国驻华大使馆办理签证的时候，对方要求提供冬子与邹晓晶的直系亲属关系的公证，还要冬子在美国的经济担保。邹晓晶反复解释自己和冬子虽然不是直系亲属，但情况特殊，万难割舍。至于经济担保，自己的奖学金完全足够两个人的了。但签证官员不能同意。　　1999年10月底，开学的时间已经过了，邹晓晶默默地放弃了留学的机会，在中关村找了份程序员的工作，每个月能拿到两千块钱。经济状况稍微改善之后，她又托人找关系让冬子进了一所学校，每天下班之后，邹晓晶做好饭，等着冬子放学回来，一如一个等待儿子的母亲，平静而祥和。　　 1999年12月底，佛罗里达州立大学发现邹晓晶并未按时入学，感到很奇怪，就发函给清华大学，查询邹晓晶的情况，邹晓晶的导师欧阳教授本来以为邹晓晶已经到了美国，收到美国校方的函件后感到非常震惊，他四处打听邹晓晶的下落，在得知邹晓晶放弃了出国的机会，反而在国内干了个程序员的时候，非常严厉地批评了邹晓晶一顿。在听了邹晓晶对事情前因后果的述说后，白发苍苍的老教授不禁长叹了一声，你完全可以把孩子交给我和你师母啊。邹晓晶为难地说：“您那么大年纪了，我哪里忍心……”老教授说：“孩子，你没做错，这件事让我再想想办法。”

2000年2月份，在千禧年春节前夕，联合国教科文组织观察员戴维丝女士访问清华大学，在座谈会上，欧阳教授也应邀出席。在谈起中美留学生交流的时候，欧阳教授如实地解释了邹晓晶没能赴美的原因。　　戴维丝女士听了惊讶万分，世界上竟有如此这般放弃留学的原因，她激动得一时无法自己。　　2000年4月初，戴维丝女士寄来了亲笔签名的为冬子提供的经济担保书和一所华人中学的录取通知，扫清了冬子陪同赴美的一切障碍。邹晓晶给戴维丝女士写信表示极大的感谢，而戴维丝女士则在回信中恳切地说：“不是你要谢谢我，而是我要谢谢你，是你使我看到了一位中国知识女性的风度、尊严和一颗金子般的心灵，当你们抵达美国后，我乐意提供更多的帮助……” 　　2000年5月底，邹晓晶带着冬子，踏上了赴美留学之路。　　（文/邢汶）

Benjamin got a new pic

2011-09-07T12:25:00.001-07:00

Ben went to a birthday party over the weekend!

养了蚯蚓 ...

2011-08-23T08:40:00.001-07:00

养了蚯蚓 ...
心血来潮，看了网上帖子，养了蚯蚓。本来以为每次做饭的时候有机垃圾立刻能处理，还没有味道，后来根本不是那么回事，有味道，招虫，吃的还特别少。老公嘲笑我，总算搬出去了。好处是不用怎么管。这次终于用上了。还要学学怎么养好些，让他们多吃多拉。

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White fly doesn't like earthworm poop

http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/hibisc/msg0800594218289.html

See:

We don't use any of those things mentioned above BUT what we do use is an all natural, organic method that you may laugh at but it DOES WORK! What is it? Earthworm poop. Yep, simple ol' earthworm poop aka Earthworm Castings! :) A farmer even told me this! What to do…go out and get a huge bag of the earthworm castings and put cupfuls around your Hibiscus plants. Turn the soil over a bit around where you put the castings. Water away as usual. That's it! Somehow, the plant absorbs the 'stuff' and the nasty ol' White Flies don't like the way the Hibiscus tastes (I guess) anymore and won't lay eggs on it. Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard of?

Believe me, we have so many different Hibiscus in our backyard and had the most horrid case of White Fly you've ever seen. I would just get grossed out when I'd have to go and do any weeding under those Hibiscus 'trees' because I'd end up with that sticky webby stuff in my hair and there is probably nothing grosser than that. Eek! I use the castings ALL over the garden and let me tell you, White Fly is basically a thing of the past. My DH knows that I will always ask him to pick me up a few big bags of 'earthworm poop' for the garden, particularly if I notice even one teeny little White Fly around (our neighbors have Hibiscus and those WFs also love Plumeria). Trust me on this one. Truly.

PS: I mentioned this and an agricultural scientist said that yep, I was correct, that Earthworm castings is one of the best things to use as a systemic in helping to keep White Flies away. :)

Benjiamin is amost home alone

2011-08-19T12:48:00.001-07:00

Benjamin was so easy to talk into this morning. He was so hungry so I prepared him a big meal for breakfast. He is convinced to stay home and wait for daddy to send him to school.

Arthur was upset since Ben doesn't even share a chicken nugget. I told him that I will take him to the donut store to get him a donut. This is like an adventure for him since we never do this before.

Then, hubby called me later. He said that he was ready to go when Ben run into the house from the yard, fully soaked, said he was playing either in the pool or next to the pool. He could be left home alone, could also be drown in that pool when my husband is still in bed or eating his breakfast caually!

How scary! I have to teach Ben to swim ASAP. And rule for the pool: never go there without notice an adult!

flowers and trees

2011-08-07T18:59:00.000-07:00

The flowers that we are having:
1. what a surprise to see such a nice flower in our home! Pink Lady amaryllis. It is from South Africa desert, low maintainance.

a web site:
http://www.treepeonygarden.com/chinese/index-chns.htm

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My wish list:
1. 白兰花 . 白兰花香花难养 How come I wish for such hard to raise flower?
http://faq.gardenweb.com/faq/lists/fragrant/2005034256008093.html

2. while dutch clover
Outsidepride.com
http://www.ccerensselaer.org/Libraries/Hort_Lawn_Fact_Sheets/White_Clover.sflb

oops

2011-06-13T16:26:00.000-07:00

===============
Oops

I was driving with two kids to YMCA to swim. I was cheerleading. "Boys, we got to learn swim this summer! This is our goal!"

"Yes, mom, you can teach me how to swim then I can teach my kids and Ben can teach my kids in the future." Said 6 years old Arthur.

"Oh, so how many kids you want?" Mom is so curious when my kids talked my future grandkids

"As many as my wife can have, I like girls and boys, both, since some girls do like me, like Shanshan, Richael, William's sister." Arthur said. I can't believe that he is talking about WIFE!

"So what kind of girl you will marry?" I gave up the expectation about he will marry me long time ago. Kids know very well that mom already married.

"I don't know yet."

"Ben, what kind of girl you will marry?" Mom want to know what her 4 year old boy.

"I don't like girls, I like boys!" Ben said it very firmly

Oops, my dear Benjamin! Better stop him earlier. "Ben, how can you marry boy? Have you seen two roosters together to make eggs, then hatch eggs into chicken?" We just got him his favorite pet.

Ben was silent, he really think about it while Arthur burst into loud laugh! "Haha, how can roosters have chicken!"

Then we make fun about chicken, eggs, rooster and hen.

=======
Arthur is a Poet and Philosopher

When I was little, you grow up
When I grow up, you get old
Within a breath, you pass away

Mom, I like you.
Even when I spank you, short at you, you still like me?
Yes, I still like you even I cried.
Why
When I cried, I was thinking.

============

Ben almost got drowned! I wasn't very nervous since I was just next to the pool, always keep an eye on both kids. I am more motivated to teach both to swim this summer

洛杉矶地板店

2011-05-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

我老公导师上大学的时候的roomate在这里做医生，人家住beverley hill山上一个豪宅，业余爱好是木匠，做的东西都是艺术品。我们要装地板，他给我们推荐他的地板店，说多好多好。木匠推荐的木地板店，那肯定错不了。我们就怕价钱贵，不过还是让老板来家里看了看。老板是个神人，从埃及来的，ucla毕业去的传媒界，后来觉得升不上去就出来自己干。对木头特别热爱。He do hard wood floor import, and said that a lot of wood floor in LA is from his wholesale store. 来我们家也尽量给我们打算，帮我们选颜色什么的。大家要装地板可以去他店里看看。如果面积小，自己量了直接买了让他们装就好。面积大大概需要老板出马到你家。他家主要做实木进口批发，顺便其他的零碎小生意也都做。不过如果太小生意，人家大概也不愿意费太多时间。
JNJ Hardwood Floor Mnftr, 310-482-3718, 11844 Jefferson Blvd, Culver City, CA 90230
Installer arranged by JNJ: Jose Perez, 323-610-6709, Angel Robles 323-496-4477

We are very satisfied with the installation. Reasonable materials left all for us. The boss said that two boxes will be extra. He is exactly right!

建议呢，装地板地毯请人来量之前自己先量，画好图，然后和来的人当面对一下，这样对大家都好。因为大家基本都是新手，地板要算出多余的尺寸，这个我们不知道，后来老板价钱出来了才知道。

Other two reference recommend by friends. We didn't go to these stores. Both friends said that they are satisfied as while:

1. Flooring 101 Micheal Soury 805-371-8877 (Phone) Hardwood floor installer:Name: Javier 818-674-7569 (cell phone)

2. Floor: http://www.inetflooring.com/ 18335 Bedford Circle, La Puente, CA 91744 Tel: 626-839-7598, Fax: 626-839-7698 e-mail: inetflooring@earthlink.net Ask for David. He is in charge of sales.

Deepclean carpet: Chem Dry Carpet Tech, http://www.cdcarpettech.com/ very satisfied with their service, 2 guys come with a van, coupon can be found in a lot of small books.

House Infor Summary

2011-04-24T13:46:00.000-07:00

Pool Guy: Jonna Pool, Eric, 818-831-0755
Pool Man: http://www.spectrumpoolcare.com/

Gardening, ask for neighbor
Tree trimming: J and J Tree Service 818-784-8537
Book: how to prum a fruit tree from Arm Strong Garden Supply

Floor guy, installer: Jose Perez, 323-610-6709, Angel Robles 323-496-4477

Plumber:
Store: Larry & Jone's Plumbing Supplies, 8916 Corbin Ave, Northridge, (818)349-2540
Plumber: Green's 818-880-8847
Ruff and Ready Rooter, Dino, 818-775-0055, 818-439-3986

Curtain in Beijing: http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201104&postID=22492

Tile over plywood: http://www.dannylipford.com/installing-tile-over-a-wood-subfloor/

Decoration: http://www.designspongeonline.com/category/interior-design/page/37

Used Furniture: http://www.cort.com/furniture-clearance

Paint remover: infrared heat gun http://www.silentpaintremover.com/spr/comparisons.htm

Furniture: http://www.kohlerinteriors.com/baker/1_1_1_0_coll_aac.jsp

Home improvement: http://www.freewebs.com/opengatesfarmbedandbreakfast/apps/blog/categories/show/562187-home-improvement-renovation

Go husky go!

2011-04-07T10:05:00.001-07:00

Uconn Husky men's basketball game won another national champ! Go husky go! We are so excited! Another good news is that my husband niece got admitted into a PHD program in UConn. Another PhD in the family!

ZT: 我为何断绝孩子的退路

2011-03-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/tzlc/299671.html

戴胜益给儿女的「留学须知」
(1) 顺利完成学业拿到文凭（成绩毋需太好，不能整天待在图书馆）。
(2) 英文要学到非常好，说、听、写自如（CNN懂90％以上）。
(3) 交很多外国朋友（各行业各年龄层均有）。
(4) 游遍全美国各州、各大城、各景点。
(5) 看遍NY 的所有歌剧、舞台剧、电影、博物馆、美术馆。
(6) 每日步行10,000步以上，养成每日运动的习惯。
(7) 在「安全保障」与「固定预算费用」下，极力扩大见闻与视野，千万不要储蓄。
(8) 深入当地一般人的生活领域。
(9) 开始练习理财，培养「让每分钱发挥最大效益的本事」。
(10) 培育第一流的公关技巧（让大家愿意接受你、信赖你、协助你）。
(11) 需熟读《Taiwan Today 》，以及寄去的经济资讯剪报，不能与台湾的经济圈脱节。
(12) 四年内务必完成以上事项，回台创业。

Arthur's first recital!

2011-03-21T14:47:00.000-07:00

Arthur started private panio lessen since last Nov. He seems to be doing fine. Yesterday was his first recital. The whole family went to cheer him up in the heaviest rain! He played: Omacdonal, marry had little lamb, Ord of Joy. Seems to be fine. Dad will buy bay-blade for him as reward!

The music school he went to is famouse for Cello. Many Cello player we saw yesterday.

哥哥弟弟

2011-02-25T11:08:00.000-08:00

哥哥6岁，弟弟还有几个月就4岁了。现在打架比一起玩少多了。看他们一起玩，真是开心。有一天回来，看到餐桌上添了很多划痕。我很生气，问谁干的。弟弟大声指责：“是哥哥！” 糊涂的哥哥居然想了想，说是他，反应过来才说不是他。我说，肯定是弟弟！弟弟说：“不是我，是桌子自己干的！” 爸爸妈妈都气得笑起来。弟弟转头又说，桌子只有一个颜色，意思是他给桌子添颜色呢。等打屁股的时候倒是爽快，我让他一边数有多少个划痕，我一边打屁股，25下，我手都有点疼，人家倒是很高兴的样子。

Princess Pullup. Benjamin is just a few months to four, and he is still having pullups at night! He said that it is pullup, not diaper, so he isn't a baby anymore, he is still a little boy. But he still wet his pullups almost everynight! He used a bag of toys story pullups soon after he came back from China. I went to costco to get another box. After we opened the box, we found out that it is PRINCESS pullups! My husband throw it to me, and said that it is my responsibility to have Ben wear it. Luckly, Ben just laughed at it. He still wets princess almost every night! I let the princess to kiss him once she is clean.

April 10,2011. Ben sat in the back while I was playing a disk in the car. Lyric: "If you never come back, my heart will break." "mom, why people's heart break?" "well, if you don't get close to me, don't love me, my heart will break." "Oh, then heart is made of glass, and it will break if I fall to the ground!"

哥哥: Arthur suddenly offered to help me clean the dishes, and make the table! It was March 7th, 2011. I was thrilled! He got two stars for doing that!

Mom got promoted: Before hubby left, Arthur said sadly: mom, you will be my only choice (no one will change battery and play dvd for him). He promoted me as his BEST choice soon after I got his first pet, and went to subway to take sandwich for dinner.

Christmas dinner

2010-12-23T11:04:00.000-08:00

Baklava: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/food-xmas/993283.html
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201106&postID=25956

Pot:http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/1016976.html

Duck: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/1045295.html

Bread:http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/bread/1048710.html
White Bread: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/chihetuan/1050447.html
Duck: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/1050758.html
酸辣萝卜干 http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/coldplate/1023091.html
salsa: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/coldplate/962765.html

牛键肉=shank(鲁牛肉)，牛腩=Brisket(牛肉面)
Beef Noodle: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/980924.html
Beef Noodle: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/897186.html
This one: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cooking/528631.html
1. 牛肉过水。
2。葱姜蒜花椒爆香，弃渣留油。
3。郫县豆瓣酱剁碎，小火炒酱3-5 分钟。
4。下牛肉炒至不见血色。一次加足水烧开后小火炖至肉烂。
注意：有啤酒，黄酒，醪糟等多多益善。少或不放酱油（久煮味酸）豆瓣酱放够了就够咸。若怕辣，可放盐或甚至用越南鱼露增咸。开始煮汤时放草果，八角，干辣椒，及白芷（很香）。牛腩肉耐煮且香但较肥。牛腱肉太易烂不要久煮。最好有牛骨先熬汤，将骨髓油撇出炒（2）料，并用牛骨汤煮牛肉最好。若怕胆固醇或脂肪太高，可煮好汤后撇去油层（还可留作麻辣锅底）。

zt: 徒步旅行的设备

2010-10-23T21:59:00.000-07:00

http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/cookng-soup/974134.html

徒步旅行最重要的就是
鞋！

你要是鞋没穿对，长途徒步旅行，要么被打得满脚的血泡，要么给扭伤脚腕。想想，当你满脚的血泡或者肿着个脚腕的时候，你还伤得没到要叫直升机来救你，但你还要一拐一拐地走上5-6英里才能回到车里时，而且这时候再好的老公男朋友也不会跳出来要把你背下山的，那真是痛不欲生呀。所以呢鞋这东东是千万不能省钱的！买鞋最主要是买双适合你脚的，牌子到不一定重要。我适过很多鞋，包括Backpacker杂志上评价很高的，但最贵的，评价最高的并不适合我。大家买鞋时，最好多逛几家，要穿上在店里走上几圈。要在美国的，我建议去REI买。REI的店员大多数都是户外运动爱好者，他们的经验很丰富，可以给你说出一大堆要如何如何选鞋的信息。而且在REI买的任何东西任何时候都可以退，包括穿了几年的鞋。我有个backcountry用的登山包，帮我挑选的店员没选对，太大了。我用了2次，每次都搞得我肩膀痛。两年后我拿着去退，人家二话没说就给原价退了。当然我也没亏待这店，立马买了个同型号的但适合我的包。当然咯你要滥用REI的return policy，你会被列上黑名单的，往后人家不卖东西给你了。选鞋要这以下几点必须注意：
1. 鞋面要防水透气/ waterproof and breathable! 山里走，常常要过小溪流，烂泥地，春秋天trail上常覆盖着化了的雪。一般旅游鞋，不防水的鞋，进了水就很悲剧了。有很多便宜的登山鞋，只防水不透气，这样的鞋会把你的脚捂成大臭脚，同时还送你好多大血泡。大家买鞋时要看鞋上写有，GTX (Gore-Tex) 。现在世面上还有些其他的同样功能的材料做成的鞋，我没买过，不太清楚其效果，你可以上REI问问。不过最流行的就是Gore-Tex。
2. 鞋一般要比平时你穿的鞋稍稍大一点，因为你要穿的登山用的袜子一般来说要厚些。登山用的袜子一般买羊毛的，最少要化纤的，千万不要穿全棉的！全棉的出了汗，打湿后，很不容易干。穿着湿袜子走路，很容易打出血泡来。
3. 牌子嘛不是最重要的，但在美国Lowa, Asolo, Merrell, Vasque, Salomon是比较流行的牌子。Backpacker杂志给Asolo的鞋的评价总是很高。他家的鞋我不喜欢，很硬。我试过很多双，每双后跟的地方都会有磨擦。如果你试的鞋也有这样的问题，就千万别买。后跟的地方老磨擦，很快就会磨出血泡来。熊猫买的是Asolo的鞋，穿了2年了，还常常给他些血泡。熊猫对这鞋很失望。我有双Lowa的鞋，很好用，从没给我过血泡，但穿了一年多，底板就被磨平了，只好退休。还是那句话，牌子不重要，但不要在鞋子上省钱，一定要买双适合自己的。有兴趣的可以看看这样的鞋，Lowa Zephyr GTX Mid Hiking Boots
4. 最好买双高梆的鞋，可以把踝关节给包起来的。山里的路绝大多数的不平，有时很多小石头，或者湿地，很滑。每次爬山我都会走着走着就把脚给扭一下。要不是高梆的鞋，踝关节不知道给扭坏过多少次了。要扭坏了脚，上一次医院，你几双好鞋的钱就没了哦。
5. 最后这点不一定要服和，但可以考虑。鞋底材料要Vibram® traction rubber outsole. 这样的鞋底比较赖磨，防滑性能比较好。爬山常碰到这样的斜坡

刘太医谈养生

2010-09-11T18:31:00.000-07:00

刘太医谈养生。

1。治疗原理：控制病情，同时提高自身免疫能力，增加身体的硬蛋白，达到自救的目的
2。基本治疗策略：三分治疗七分养，加味开胃汤，牛蹄筋汤，
同时喝瘦牛肉汤，有磷的河鱼汤，新鲜蔬菜水果汁

加味开胃汤：生北山揸50克，广木香25克，猪苓25克，杭白菊25克，每天一剂，水煎频服。（广木香要买没有发霉的，如果买不到广木香，只好用云木香，川木香，云木香，川木香比较苦，可以加大枣5个。新鲜的山楂最好，干的北山楂片也可以，不能要炒山楂或者焦山楂等其他的替代品。猪苓是黑边白片，不是黑边棕色片。）第一次买，可以每样买10克，回家尝尝，味道是酸味有点苦，如果特别的苦，是药材不好。

熬药的锅不能是铁锅，铜锅，不锈刚锅，不沾锅，陶瓷锅，沙锅，最好是玻璃锅。因为山楂是酸的，在其他的锅里有可能产生化学作用。

加一升水，把所有的药泡半小时，把水倒掉，这是因为干药不能直接煮。然后再加半升水，大火熬开，然后小火熬半小时，把药汁倒出来。然后再加半升水熬。两次熬的药汁放保温的壶里，渴了就喝，当水喝，当天喝完，不要喝隔夜的药，也不要喝凉药，一小口一小口慢慢的喝。熬药的水可以自己调节，药不要加糖和蜂蜜。

喝了开胃汤，如果放臭屁，是正常的好的反应。出现饥饿感可以隔天一副药。晚上饿了不吃东西，要在白天吃。

牛蹄筋汤：牛蹄筋是硬蛋白，胶原纤维。半斤牛蹄筋加两升水，不要作料，小火熬一夜，喝汤。熬汤可以加点山楂和小红枣。不要一开始用大火，就一直用小火。牛踢筋和水量可以自己控制，以喝汤后很舒服，不呕吐，不腹泄为标准。

牛肉汤: 瘦牛肉一斤，绞成馅，两升水，不要作料，小火熬一夜，不要一开始用大火，就一直用小火。第二天肉渣捞去喝汤，这是无渣流质，吸收率80%。熬汤可以加点山楂和小红枣。牛肉汤可以用来熬粥做面条。

鱼汤：一尺左右的大鱼，不去骨，两升水，不要放作料，小火熬一夜。不要一开始用大火，就一直用小火。不要用油煎鱼再熬汤。鱼最后是成渣子的。熬汤可以加点山楂和小红枣。

蔬菜水果汁：新鲜的当时的蔬菜水果 3-5 斤，每天榨汁喝。这样吸收最好，直接吃这么多蔬菜水果很费力，吸收也不好。蔬菜水果要洗净去皮，榨出的汁当时喝掉。

Amtrak 火车 santa barbara 一日游

2010-09-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

我也来写写我坐火车的一日游。

我看了一篇叫坐火车穿越美国（http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://news.wenxuecity.com/messages/200905/news-gb2312-846192.html）的帖子，写得实在是让我向往。网上还有美国人写得火车日记（http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.trainweb.com/coaststarlight/index.html）那时候就开始计划火车旅游。朋友夏天来看我的时候就是听我的建议坐了海岸星光线从三藩南下到的洛杉矶。可惜人家睡了一路，就听说火车的椅子很舒服，不知道沿途的景色怎么样。还知道那趟火车有小孩的电子游戏，听起来也很吸引人。

心里长草几个月，终于也安排了一次火车的旅行。儿子过生日的时候，约了朋友一家和我们一起去santa barbara。从我们这里去santa barbara 开车一小时，坐火车一个半小时，一家人的车票用了aaa 还是小贵（要至少提前三天网上订票才能用aaa, 我自己的过期了，也冒用了一次，上车很少有人检查你的aaa卡，侥幸省点钱），我们两家人都是来美国多年也没坐过火车的，偶尔为之算是经历。早晨到车站，小孩子们都特别的兴奋。我有点迟到了，手忙脚乱的在车站的vending machine 上拿我们的票。用订票的信用卡取票。感觉他们的机器不如机场的好用。如果没有提前买票，在vending machine 上也可以买得，另外上车也可以买。不过我们上车后，服务员说他们希望顾客在机器上买。谁愿意麻烦自己呀。

我们去的火车是两层，其实有小孩子在底层要好些，吵吵闹闹的不惹人烦，我们直接上二层了。火车上人不多，基本都是单身旅行的，十几岁的没驾照的，老年人，一家子拖家带口的好像就是我们了。火车开了一阵，看农场，海滩，一路海滩都是冲浪的人。平时开车根本也看不到风景的。小孩子很兴奋。我带他们到其他车厢看了看。车上有卖吃的，有水，我们自己带吃的，小孩子吃东西，看风景，大人难得的能聊聊天。santa barbara火车站离海边特别近，走路不到5分钟（Amtrak SB Station: 209 State Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101），那是个大站，有卖票的，有当地的特别详细的地图。我本来想带大家去 Ty Warner Sea Center: http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.sbnature.org/twsc/224.html ，走到海边，小孩子喂喂海鸟，沿着海边走走，到沙滩上就玩起来了。海滩特别干净，美丽，因为过了旅游旺季，人不多。

路两边的城建很好，有个小孩的游乐场和转圈木马，可惜我们没时间去。有租一家人都可以骑的自行车，看起来很好玩。中午的时候，坐25cent 的Downtown-Waterfront Shuttle小型街車去state street 上找了个地方吃点东西，然后就回家。晚上的火车晚了半小时，孩子们追追打打的时间过得很快。晚上车上的人明显多起来，而且是一层的火车，小孩子在给残疾人留座位的地方玩，看黑夜里海上的船，我老担心他们吵其他人，还好没人跟我们抱怨。最

近朋友来访，按照我们的行程又走一遍，他们坐Downtown Waterfront Shuttle 走了一圈，还看到了热闹温馨的农夫市场，给我带回鲜花一素。才知道美丽的小城几乎每天都有集市呢（http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.santabarbara.com/community/farmersmarket/ ）。

More travel infor:
1. Amtrak Train,
http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.amtrak.com/ ,
Amtrak SB Station: 209 State Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101
Please pick up the map from the train station, they have the best one for travel without car.

2. Downtown Waterfront shuttle. Just 25 cents and Emma is free. 往State St小鎮市中心有Downtown-Waterfront Shuttle小型街車（http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://sbmtd.gov/，選Downtown-Waterfront Shuttle），

3. A chinese tour guide for SB: http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://calasf.blogspot.com/2007/05/palm-springs-santa-barbara-5.html .
English one: visit SB without a car: http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.santabarbaracarfree.org/santabarbara.htm

4. Visit: Ty Warner Sea Center: http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.sbnature.org/twsc/224.html and Zoo is also close by. Both places are small and family friendly. Mission and Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.sbnature.org/about/68.htmlTransportation: http://huaren.us/rd/rd.asp?hrtopic_id=668329&hrurl=http://www.santabarbaracarfree.org/howto.htm

5. Bus to LAX: santabarbaraairbus.com . （Not sure about it.）

A and B came back

2010-08-09T14:36:00.000-07:00

Arthur and Benjamin came back. They two changed a lot. Both of their Chinese are so fluent. Benjamin is so talktive now!

Dad had his birthday in China and got no one to celebrate it for him. I cooked Beijing noodle for him per his request. But how can noodle dinner be called birthday dinner? Arthur insisted that we got to have a cake. But how can a cake without icing to called birthday cake? I have to use the cream cheese to take the place of the cream since the cream that I kept in the freeze doesn't seems to be working. Luckly the cheese can still hold candle. Two boys are happy when they can sing the song for their dad.

Arthur complains that our dinner is so simple. He said that "I used to eat so much but now it is so little". Well, in his grandpa's home, everyday they arranged the dinner and cook. Apparently mom can't beat a group of cook. Arthur wants fish so we went to Costco. Arthur said that a fish without head isn't a real fish. So we got a REAL fish not only has head but covered with scales! Arthur was happy that night since we had a BIG dinner.

I took both kids to the playground of the mall. Two boys were playing in the toy boat, and they said "go away!" loudly to a little girl! After five minutes, Arthur reported to me that Benjamin did something. A 7 or 8 years old girl were in tear. Benjamin said that "I was doing Kongfu! Hey! Hey! Hey!" His little fists were powerful! It isn't easy to get him to say sorry to the poor girl.

ZT:Fun place in San Diego

2010-07-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=kids&MsgID=1658845

http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201007&postID=2554
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=201007&postID=5684

鼎泰丰 1108 S. Baldwin Ave. Arcadia, CA 91007(626) 574-7068这次去南加，专门去朝圣。我家大小都特别喜欢小笼包，去哪里玩都专门挑小笼包店吃个痛快。去年在台北还特意去了鼎泰丰在永康街的本店。这次和我家表舅一家约在鼎泰丰见面，就是想再胡吃海喝一顿。可惜，期待越大，失望也越大。用了美国猪肉的鼎泰丰小笼包比起台北的失色许多。我们点了很多，小笼包和蟹粉小笼包都还不错，红油抄手很好，素蒸饺一般，牛肉面却很差劲，最出彩的是排骨蛋炒饭，那个排骨真是又香又酥，强力推荐，其他我记不得了，噢噢，还有点豆沙和芋泥甜包，也不推荐。鼎泰丰同一个shopping center就有小雅屋（J.J.Bakery）1130 S. Baldwin Ave.TEL: 626-836-6888，是台式的饼屋，非常非常赞！！！我们买了好多，有甜的（芋泥超赞，红豆麻吉，菠萝，核桃）咸的（肉松，叉烧，热狗，蛋沙拉），香香软软，都好吃的不得了。Irvine 有一家人气超红的面包店叫85degree，http://www.yelp.com/biz/85c-irvine，天天都是排长队啊。他家的蛋糕不怎么样（至少我在台北店里吃到的不怎么样），但是面包真的超好吃的，芋泥麻吉，还有核桃的，还有cheese的，怎么样的都香软得让你觉得好幸福啊！再有就是日本菜。我们好喜欢Tommy's Sushi 1051 E Main St, Tustin, CA 92780,(714) 544-5241Awesome poki bowl, bronco roll, and cucumber paradise. We went there twice! 那个poki bowl，真是我吃过最赞的 poki bowl了，big chunks of salmon, tuna, octopus, avocado, cucumber, and fish roes, and crab salad, 想起来又口水哗哗了。连我老公不是那么喜欢生鱼的都念念不忘。我家两个小的也在里面吃了好多sushi呢。如果喜欢日本拉面，santoka 是一家比较有名的。如果喜欢日式烧烤，我朋友推荐 shinsengumi。泰国菜 Siam Taste of Asia 3520 W 1st St, Santa Ana, CA 92703,(714) 418-9678这家店小小的，地点也不太好，一点不起眼。但是他的菜真不错。deep fried tofu was the star of the night，外脆里嫩，淋在上面的酱汁香气逼人，好吃啊，我们最后居然又叫了一份！还有 Fried seabass with green curry sauce was another winner.还有一家叫 Thai Nakorn 的泰国店，据说比这家还好吃，不过离我们住的地方远一点，我们没有试。越南菜：Brodard。(714) 530-1744. 9892 Westminster Ave, Garden Grove, CA 92844他家的春卷是一绝！韩国菜： Cho Sun Galbee，韩国烤肉LA的中东菜也很棒，黎巴嫩，伊朗，等。我很喜欢希腊菜和中东菜。那里的kebabs好好吃啊。我去的一家叫 Zankou Chicken, 2424 W Ball Rd Ste S, Anaheim, CA 92804, (714) 229-2060 离disney很近。还有tapas wine bar：AOC，www.aocwinebar.com 中国菜：云川园。14310 Culver Dr，Irvine, CA 92604(949) 559-1116云南过桥米线，还有其他云南四川菜。福方园，Noodle House, 18219 E. Gale Avenue, #A Rowland Heights, CA 专门卖饺子的。San Diego 圣地亚哥的美食圣地亚哥最有名的大概就是 fish taco。我们试了很多家。有贵的，在 Del Mar 去了Brigantine's, 据说是 San Diego 最好的，我们却觉得只是还好，没有惊艳。3263 Camino Del Mar，Del Mar, CA 92014，858-481-1166反而吃到最可心fish taco的居然是28街和 Ocean Blvd 交口一个没有名字的店。一看菜单上只有西班牙文就知道来对了地方。这家的鱼有很多种，有的是烤的，有的是炸的，都好吃的不得了啊。离Balboa Park很近的一家 Marketplace Deli，他家的三明治和沙拉都非常新鲜好吃！2601 5th Ave (between Maple St & Nutmeg St) 92103在 Little Italy 有一间Deli 叫 Mona Lisa Deli，做的是意式 cold cut sub style 三明治，no-grills。他家的 eggplant parmigiana sub is amazing! 2061 India St (between Grape St & Hawthorn St) San Diego, CA 92101越南菜：Phuong Trang 4170 Convoy St 92111 (858) 565-6750 很喜欢越南粉，很清淡。中国菜我们就去了两家：過橋園 4690 Convoy St.,San Diego,CA92122。去了两次，很喜欢他家的凉菜，那个红油猪耳很赞啊，我家的小孩吃得好欢。过桥米线很鲜嫩！小肥羊 4718 Clairemont mesa Blvd,San Diego, CA 92117要了一个鸳鸯锅，真的好香好浓啊，但是又不腻，反而很清爽呢。还有他家的手工面，真的好Q好好吃！太怀念了。老公回来后一直念叨要去Houston的小肥羊再过一次瘾。日本拉面。Tajima 但馬 4681 Convoy St,San Diego, CA 92111，汤汁很浓，面也QQ的，老公叫了一个麻婆豆腐的，被我笑，可是居然很好吃呢。

I love San Francisco!

2010-07-16T19:15:00.000-07:00

I have been to SF for a few times but never fully enjoy it. Many thanks to my boss who finally send me here for a one-week-training so I can explore the city.

My hotel is on Stockton in Union square. It is one block away from Chinatown. I have been there for breakfast and dinner. My training ends at 6pm. Most of the stores in Chinatown closed around that time. It is kind of scary to walk on the dirty street with so many store closed. Somehow I still find a Northern style restaurant, and go to a beauty store for haircut. A Japanese noodle store has good ramen.

1. ZEY restaurant, 655 Jackson St, 415-981-8988
2. Barber Jason, 945 Stockton St, 415-699-4629
3.

I went to a Buddha temple (www.huazangsi.org, 3134 22st, 94110, ), and there is a temple right next to stockton st. They told me that there is the same temple in LA ( 660 Monterey rd, #100, 626-281-5728).

I went to the same ginseng store that my husband went to (850 Jackson st). It is a whole sale store. I hope to get some sea cucumber back.

I planned to go to Lombard st but it was so cold! I should have booked Alcatraz tour months ago.

SF remind me so much about Beijing: crowded city with many stores, buses everywhere. I love SF!

单身生活

2010-07-09T23:03:00.000-07:00

难得的单身生活, 好几年攒下的活一个一个干.

1. project one: reseal granite contertop

这个实在是想起来难，做起来简单，但是还是很累人的活。网上买了最好的sealer （bulletproof stone sealer)，把所有的东西都挪开，countertop 弄干净，然后用个小滚筒把sealer滚来滚去，和刷漆差不多。最后擦干。可惜我家浴室的countertop 质量不好，我也不早早的保护，已经不行了。

Follow up: after I came back from SF, the countertop didn't seem to be as shinning as before. It took me a while to polish them with the dry tower. Luckly it was shinner than before.

For the countertop in Bathroom, I didn't know that I should remove the water stain before seal.

2. project two: bathroom paint and refurbish bathtub
A professional flipper contractor came, he recommend me to leave them as they are since I will be rent the current home out. He said that painting is more important than the new bathtub. Many thanks to him: Stylin Construction, Curly, 818-407-1327

3. project three: paint the wall and door
Joe came and give me a lot of detailed direction on how to paint. I spend a long time at Lowes, could not find the liquid sandpaper. Will go to Homedepot.

4. project four: cleanup all rooms

Searching of a new house

2010-04-12T10:55:00.000-07:00

Useful websites for searching of a new house: 1. house search website http://www.ziprealtor.com/ http://www.redfin.com/ http://www.zillow.com/ http://www.trulia.com/ http://losangeles.blockshopper.com/sales/zips/91324/2010/1 http://mikeweaverrealtor.com/ http://www.pinnacleestate.com/ http://www.callchriswilliams.com/ 2. School District: http://search.lausd.k12.ca.us/cgi-bin/fccgi.exe?w3exec=schfinder0 http://schooldistrictfinder.com/search.php School Rating: http://school-ratings.com/ API: http://www.cde.ca.gov/ta/ac/ap/apireports.asp Local School Map: http://notebook.lausd.net/pls/ptl/docs/PAGE/CA_LAUSD/LAUSDNET/ABOUT_US/MAPS/2009-10%20LOCAL%20DISTRICT%201%20%2830X40%29.PDF CA School Ranking: http://www.psk12.com/rating/USindexphp/STATE_CA.html Beckford: http://beckford-lausd-ca.schoolloop.com/ 3. Local School Area: Elementary: topeka, darby, backford, dearborn, Middle School: Frost Middle is fine, homels, Magnet program: Lawrence middle and Portal middle both have seperate magnet program, but Porter is not in a good school area. Both required gifted student application. Nobel has magnet problem which anyone can apply, so it is a little bit weak. Northridge: http://www.zillow.com/local-info/CA-Los-Angeles/Northridge-home-value/r_33183/ 4. Rental Lease: http://www.max-info.com/NoMoneyDown/form/20.html http://www.car.org/legal/standard-forms/summary-forms-releases-chart/nov-2008-form-releases-chart/228368 Rental Form: http://www.car.org/legal/standard-forms/summary-forms-releases-chart/nov-2008-form-releases-chart/228368/ CA 3day evict: http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/other/landtenqa-land8.htm Tenant Screening: http://citicredit.net/ Application: http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=tzlc&MsgID=229246 check credit。http://www.citicredit.net/ 加州房东必读: http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/landlordbook/index.shtml 另外推荐这本书。California Landlord's Law Book: Rights & Responsibilities http://www.amazon.com/California-Landlords-Law-Book-Responsibilities/dp/1413309402/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254183077&sr=8-3 \ an article: http://bbs.creaders.net/tea/bbsviewer.php?trd_id=490176&blog_id=64398 1099+1096+w9http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/tzlc/266797.html Future house price: http://datasuite.cmegroup.com/dataSuite.html?template=hsng&category=Housing&exchange=XCME&strategyType=SP&selected_tab=real-estate wholesale stores: http://www.alanbestbuys.com/ Remove stain from countertop: http://askville.amazon.com/SimilarQuestions.do?req=remove-crusty-white-hard-water-stains-black-granite-countertops LA city Bureau of Sanitation: http://lacitysan.org/solid_resources/refuse/service_request.htm LA hazard waste: http://www.lacsd.org/info/hhw_e_waste/default.asp Sex Offerder: http://www.mapsexoffender.com/ Rental Tax: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/inv-tax/293583.html 筛选房客的终极指南 http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/tzlc/302112.html 5. Contractor and handyman: referel: http://www.mikeismyagent.com/referrals.asp

. Vahik Tatoosi, Phone # 818-585-1988, tatoosi@yahoo.com, License# 896934 .

Jeff Lu, 818-648-0755, 818-772-6580, License contractor, #818795 , jiefeilu4@yahoo.com.cn . Stylin Construction, Mike or Curly, 818-407-1327 .

Bruce hashemi http://www.rdmconstructionco.com/About.html .

Handyman: quick and dirty: 818-605-1509 . Pedro Galvan: 310-780-4628 . Handyman: Aljado: 818-207-5335,

. Loan: Broker: Amy(Ming) Wang DRE#01728699 NMLS#296622Realtor/Senior Mortgage Consultant Cell: 408-857-3168 Phone & Fax: 408-212-8807 .

. Inspection: http://www.crystalhomeinspections.com/ http://www.ehomeinspector.com/ . Architect: Len Cardoni of Cardoni Group Architects(805) 494-3853 http://www.cardonigroup.com/ . Architect: Kevin Tohill, associate AIA, 805.577.1098, 818-833-1098, http://www.kta-inc.net/ , .Structure Engineer: 619-708-3598 , more at: http://www.seaosc.org/pa_find.cfm

Do I need a big house: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/dszMR9qbesI A nice little house: http://www.younghouselove.com/photo-gallery-2/ two books: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&Id=689534&page=3 Pool Demolish: http://www.kennahconstruction.net/pool_demolition.html?keyphrase=pool+demolition&lid=712048725&c=712046833&provider=google&ping=false pool: http://www.stretcher.com/stories/09/09aug10a.cfm Remove a pool: http://home.comcast.net/~phil.detweiler/PoolDemolition.html BathTub kit: http://www.refinishingonline.com/ Bathtub DIY: http://www.inetgiant.com/AdDetails/Spray-On-Bathtub-Refinishing-Kit-With-Pro-Bond/2099578 Drawn kids data: http://home.comcast.net/~phil.detweiler/poolsafety.html CA tax credit: http://www.ftb.ca.gov/individuals/new_home_credit.shtml City data: http://www.city-data.com/ Rushan Blog: http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=200906&postID=24581 A post: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&Id=656112 CA law for natural hazard zone: http://www.zonedisclosures.com/FAQ.htm Paint the glass: The oil based products, such as Kilz and Zinsser Cover Stain, http://www.naturalhandyman.com/qa/qapaintprep.html

Wood floor redo: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/floor/1575296.html

Roofing Calculater: http://www.costhelper.com/cost/home-garden/roof.html Roof: http://www.thisoldhouse.com/toh/article/0,,198504,00.html LA law: In Los Angeles, since 1989, it has not been permissible to install any type of roofing material (including one that is Class-A fire-rated) over a wood roof on spaced-sheathing. Spaced sheathing is more seismically vulnerable and also can allow a fire to draft more rapidly, and the fasteners of the latest roof will have a tendency to split the old and often dry wood shakes/shingles, which means that the roofing material will also be vulnerable to wind-damage.

Cost of houses: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/tzlc/271184.html

Office Assess: http://maps.assessor.lacounty.gov/mapping/viewer.asp

LA city Permit record:http://ladbs.org/LADBSWeb/building-permit-records.jsf Windrich Group: http://www.windrichgroup.com/ Navigate LA: http://navigatela.lacity.org/index.cfm

==========

After work: An article: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&ID=845752 Change the floor: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/floor/1670456.html bathroom: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/myhouse/1675216.html Decoration: http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/furniture/1613116.html coco's site: http://www.cococozy.com/ Floor: http://www.floorguide.com/default.asp?CMD=FEATURED#ThumbsPhone: http://www.ooma.com/

A: Flooring 101 Micheal Soury 805 371-8877 (Phone) Hardwood floor installer:Name: Javier 818 674-7569 (cell phone)

B: Floor: http://www.inetflooring.com/ 18335 Bedford Circle, La Puente, CA 91744 Tel: 626-839-7598, Fax: 626-839-7698 e-mail: inetflooring@earthlink.net Ask for David. He is in charge of sales.

Egypt Floor Guy: Nathan Ghanem 310-213-4213, 11844 Jeffrson Bwd, 90230

Foof: Fortress Roofing: Ron, 805-484-0151

Moving: http://www.uship.com/ Kitchen Cabinet: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=337&id=903670&page=0&star=2

Vintage Style Home for a Young Family: http://chattafabulous.blogspot.com/2010/03/vintage-style-home-for-young-family.html

http://www.interiordesignstory.com/2009_05_01_archive.html juvinterior.com: http://www.juvinterior.com/classic-and-lavish-interior-design-ideas-for-home-decoration/

A house: http://19031halstedst.com/

A local coupon: http://www.citypublishingco.com/Mags/Mar2011/Print-coupons-for-Granada-Hills-in-San-Fernando-Valley.pdf

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Current Record: Termit: http://summittermite.com/ Roof: Fortress Roofing, Ron Astlund, 805-484-0151 Roof: All roof window system, Dave Muschaweck, 818-254-6185, 805-582-1887 Insurance: AmeriPrise, 888-404-5365 electric: Mark Fornoff, 850-496-9620 mark@fornoffelectric.com,

http://www.fornoffelectric.com/Construction:%20Randy%20Pardee:%20805-490-1810,%20www.rpardeeconstruction.com http://www.rpardeeconstruction.com/

++++++++++++++++++

Current complex infor: # P & C management, Philip Dufrene, 805-630-8446(cell), 805-492-4435(phone), PO Box 7352, Thousand Oaks, CA 91359, pcmgmt@verizon.net

# Plumming, Zack, 301-508, 7559

# Old Plumming: Felipe, Rino, Ruff Ready Rooter, 919-775-0055, 818-439-3986

# Home Warranty: Fidelity National Home Warranty, http://www.homewarranty.com/, 1800-862-6837

Arthur's appreciation

2010-01-28T10:43:00.000-08:00

I picked up Arthur from his school. He was sitting in the back seat and suddenly he started to thank me. He said, mom, you cook for me, bake good stuff for me, oh, you took the cake to my school on my 5th birthday, and everyone waiting in line for the cake. It was so good of you, thank you, Mom!

I am really touched by his word. Yes, on his fifth birthday, I baked a cake which was cap cakes under it. I put Alphabet letter's on the cake. Every kids just got one cake. Athur got the cup cake with letter A on it. He soon dropped the cake and came back to ask another one. Too bad I didn't have any extra. Then he started to cry. Two girls gave up their cake for Arthur but he only want the one with letter A on it. He cried very hard. It wasn't very happy memory for me. I am glad that he kept the good memory of that cake. I am also glad that he appreciate my work and remembers it. I don't want to raise a spoiled kid and took everything for granted.

弟弟两岁半

2009-12-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

弟弟两岁半，睡觉的时候读了书，亲昵一下，然后就会说：“妈妈你走”。他要枕着小星星枕头睡觉了。当妈妈的怅然若失啊，原来弟弟总是说，妈妈再陪一会，妈妈再陪一会，如果妈妈走了他就要哇哇哭，那时候总有被需要的感觉，现在呢，弟弟给训练出独立性了，妈妈又觉得自己不那么重要了。

今年老公不愿意弄圣诞树，老大要了好几次，最后是妈妈买下了。老公给取回来，居然要用个水桶装土把7尺高的树插进去。大晚上的我开车出去两次，终于把树的底座给装好，自己运回家，然后仔细给装饰好了。松树的香味满屋都是，一闪一闪的小星星映在镜子了，小孩子真是喜欢，我也很欢喜。我准备以后每年都弄颗树。小孩子能在我们身边快乐多久呢？等我们老了，装饰了最漂亮的树，又有谁围着树唱歌跳舞呢？

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

我家打孩子屁股是惩罚手段（打得不疼啊，但态度严厉），因为对老二没多大用，再加上弹脑门。对老大，time out 就很有用。老公说，只要对孩子爱，还有就是惩罚后要说明原因，惩罚就是对的。

现在想我们是不是太暴力了。老二好几次在我们眼皮下，因为其他的小朋友碰了他，就要去打人家。在家里有时候打爸爸妈妈哥哥，我们也不是太说他，说了也没用。有一次因为我不给他吃cookie, 伸手打我，真是手很重呢。昨天出门，我做了错事（costco 哥哥坐购物车边上，我没注意，伸手拉车，结果哥哥掉出来了，哇哇哭），然后弟弟伸小手就打我，然后和哥哥一起哭。

我反思，是不是我家老二让我们给培养坏了，觉得谁做错了就要挨打。那我们家是不是错了也不能打屁股了。打屁股成习惯了，有时候不真打，嘴上也是顺口就说出来，现在不好改了。

老二是个急脾气，模仿能力又强，不太知道怎么教育他。

阿瑟得了奖!

2009-11-23T13:09:00.000-08:00

我家阿瑟今天得了这学期的班里的最佳进步奖。我还以为一堆孩子得奖呢。今天早晨参加发奖，一个班只选四个小朋友：一个小姑娘得最佳行为奖，一个中美混血小姑娘说是词汇量特别多得奖，她妈妈特意买了花送给她呢。阿瑟和另外一个小男孩是学习奖。老师说阿瑟是：班里最小的孩子，基础差（little experience), 过去几个月进步特别大，现在居然能读书了。

我们也特别惊讶阿瑟的进步。他上学之前的幼儿园是放羊，基本不教东西，我们两个都忙，唯一坚持的就是睡觉前读书了，读书的时间还很短，而且基本是用汉语读书。他上学前笔都拿不好，也不喜欢写字画画，每天就是和弟弟玩火车汽车，然后就是看电视玩游戏。上K后，每天都高高兴兴去上学，很短的时间进步就特别快。每天回来都主动做作业，一周的作业周一发下来，周二就要交上去，如果拖到周四周五，那肯定是爹妈拖后腿。现在能写字，数字能写到100，每天还尝试读书。早晨晚上都念念叨叨的，什么7后面是8，哪两个词rhyme，等等。九月八号开学，到现在11周，进步真是飞速。我真敬佩美国学校的老师，这么密集的教学量决定是我们家长做不到的。

要知道阿瑟是个资质平平的孩子，周围朋友家聪明伶俐的孩子智力技能都是超出阿瑟很多的。另外他是个慢性子，特别专注自己的事情，给人感觉就是木木的。现在有了个学习的环境，立刻就突飞猛进，表现出对学习的极大地热情，真令我们欣慰。现在我们不羡慕其他的孩子写写画画了，阿瑟现在最喜欢做的就是写字画画。

Travel for 2010 summer

2009-10-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

Traveler's choice family awards: http://www.tripadvisor.com/TCFamily

One day or two days visit of Santa Barbara through Amtrak.
Amtrak SB Station: 209 State Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101
Visit: Ty Warner Sea Center: http://www.sbnature.org/twsc/224.html
Mission and Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. http://www.sbnature.org/about/68.html
Attraction: http://www.orangetreeinn.com/activities_and_attractions.htm

Transportation: http://www.santabarbaracarfree.org/howto.htm
Downtown Waterfront shuttle: http://sbmtd.gov/Lines/Line_Downtown.htm
Hotel: http://www.orangetreeinn.com/ , http://www.haciendamotel.com/

=============================================
Washington DC hotels:
River Inn at foggy bottom, full kitchen, very close to metro and a trader joe

=============================================

Palm Spring: http://www.pstramway.com/hotels.asp One Tramway Rd. Palm Springs, CA. 92262
Desert Hill Outlet(10AM开门)http://www.premiumoutlets.com/outlets/outlet.asp?id=6
http://www.livingdesert.org/
http://www.psmuseum.org/index.php
http://travel.latimes.com/articles/la-trw-palmsprings6apr06
http://www.goworldtravel.com/ex/aspx/articleGuid.%7BB5E1BDC7-AEC4-448E-8A43-8B024ECD3A53%7D/xe/article.htm

Hotel Choice (Rancho Mirage, Palm Desert, La Quinta and Indian Wells):
Palm Springs Travelodge
WHERE TO EAT
Tyler's Burgers, 149 S. Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs; (760) 325-2990. Fabulous burgers, potato salad and coleslaw. Burgers start at $6; lunch only; cash only; closed Sunday. Sherman's Deli & Bakery, 73-161 Country Club Drive, Palm Desert; (760) 568-1350. Don't miss the matzo brei. Sandwiches start at about $8. Norma's, 4200 E. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs; (760) 770-5000. Pancakes, omelettes, sandwiches, cocktails and more. Brunch dishes $12 to $1,000 (for the lobster frittata with Sevruga caviar). Villa Abbate, 69820 Highway 111, Rancho Mirage; (760) 321-6835, http://www.villaabbate.net/; Sicilian specialties such as pescatore fritto, linguini marinara and pollo limone. Pasta $17 to $26; main courses $25 to $40

个人养生

2009-10-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

《易筋经》http://www.yangshengzhu.com/health/special/s23.htm

中医养生 http://www.tianya.cn/publicforum/content/no11/1/727037.shtml

三七生说感冒 http://bbs.zbgl.net/thread-224189-1-1.html

Arthur will start school!

2009-08-26T11:21:00.000-07:00

I am so nervous! At least that I know his teacher's name: De la Cera.....

March 22, 2010

Artuhr has three more months to finish his kindergarten year. He has been such a great kid. He loves school and don't want to miss any class. He sit next to the teacher so he learned a lot even with his poor listening skills (Many thanks to Louise, or I won't know that he needs surgery in both of his ears). He got a couple of good friends. He loves painting and drawing. I still remember that I was a good student when I was at his age: loves drawing, good at reading and shapes. I must say that he is a better one than me.

Valley information

2009-08-13T13:51:00.001-07:00

LA parents: http://losangeles.parenthood.com/ Camping in Park: http://www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=1029 Ginseng: http://www.schumacherginseng.com/ , 海华参茸药材公司850 jackson st SF 94133415-398-3708 http://www.jingping.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=69758 Ginseng: http://www.schumacherginseng.com/itemofmonth.html Ginseng: http://www.schumacherginseng.com/Page3.html Medicine: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=347&id=719602 Sea Cucumber: http://www.oceanreefllc.com/ Xinxin Shenrong Haiwei Hang, 1252 Stockton St, SF, 415-677-9882 Ticket to China: http://www.travelsuperlink.com/ http://www.iflychina.net/ County Fair:http://www.venturacountyfair.org/ LA light show: http://www.dwplightfestival.com/2009/html/direction.htm LA County Garden: http://www.arboretum.org/index.php/visit/ Free Gym Pass: http://www.findmygym.com/index.php?page=browse&mode=search Buddhist Church: http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/California_%28Southern) http://www.sfvhbt.org/ San Fernando Valley Hongwanji Buddhist Temple Malibu Hindu Temple1600 Las Virgenes Canyon RdCalabasas, CA 91302 School Infor: http://www.greatschool.com/ http://www.movoto.com/ Vegi Restraurant in LA: http://www.jingping.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=70115 Asian Amerian Expo: http://www.ccyp.com/expo/sc/ Rodeo Drive free two hour parking: Brighton and Redeo crossing Movie Theater in the valley: http://www.regencymovies.com/main.php?theaterId=26 CSUN Planetarium :http://www.csun.edu/phys/department_guide/colloquia_and_planetarium/planetarium.html Trail in pasadena: Eaton Canyon Falls. http://www.ecnca.org/hiking_trails/hikes.html#Eaton_Canyon_Falls http://www.natureathand.com/Main/Gallery/Eaton_Canyon_Falls_62407.htm http://www.simpsoncity.com/hiking/eaton.html ranch 99 plant supply: http://mygreenmart.com/mygreenmart_c/location.html 400 W. Lincoln Avenue, CA 92865

Franklin Canyon Park: lamountains.com
www.cagold.com

LA, San Diago 旅行计划

2009-06-16T10:59:00.000-07:00

要去的地方： LA: 环球影城，迪思尼; San Diago: 海洋馆，乐高城
Aug 8th: Paradise cove and Point dume State beach
http://www.yelp.com/biz/malibu-seafood-fresh-fish-market-and-patio-cafe-malibu#hrid:dkaEoywW8hEHh-CrMEd7XQ

Aug 14 - Aug 21. 每天的计划

Aug 14: Channel Harbor Art show: http://www.channelislandsharbor.org/events.cfm
Aug 14, Friday: 海岸星光线早晨８点出发，晚上８点到西米谷 Oakland to Simi Valley

Coastal Starlight schedule and station: www.amtrak.com/timetable/apr07/P11.pdf
Stations Address: http://www.amtrak.com/servlet/ContentServer?pagename=Amtrak/am2Route/Vertical_Route_Page&c=am2Route&cid=1081256321841&ssid=135
Bart Station: http://www.bart.gov/stations/closest.aspx

Aug 15, Saturday: 中午出发， go to the zoo ，stop by laguna beach, 晚上到 San Diago
Comfort Inn Zoo Seaworld through AAA.com
https://www.res99.com/nexres/reservations/review.cgi?&src=10010245&ses=145b69cadefa8ef329c939c81737e8e1&src_aid=&path=av&unps=y&inventory_source=14169&in_date=2009-08-15&out_date=2009-08-17&hotels_id=10196740&nights=2&num_adults=2&num_children=2&minorAge1=&minorAge2=&minorAge3=&minorAge4=&num_rooms=1&room_type_code=;LN005&rate_plan_code=ZG00RAC&ac=

Best Western South Bay: http://www.res99.com/hotel/10010245-10193109T.html?ses=0a489ef8ef8ec514ff93e6479fccf6ps&unps=y

Aug 16, 17: San Diago: Sea World, Legoland
１７号离开圣地亚哥, 开到 Disney, 把客人放到 disney
Aug 16: Pick up dad at long beach then drop at the disnet hotel.

Aug 18, 19 : Disney for two days Ticket: $99 Disneyland.com , special deals

19 号晚上去把４个客人接回来
20号 : Universal Studio 环球影城. Metro 240
http://www.metro.net/index.asp

Aug 21: packup and leave

Dad: 21 Aug, 23:50 departure CZ0328, Terminal B
Chenglan: 22 Aug, 1:40am CA984 , Terminal 2

San Diego Transportation:http://embassysuites.hilton.com/en/es/hotels/hotelpromo.jhtml;jsessionid=VIR41E33GL45SCSGBIX222Q?ctyhocn=SANDNES&promo=SANDNES_Attraction_transportation&cid=OH,ES,sandn,TransportationF

Amtrak Station: Sata Fe Rail.

An easy way to get to the San Diego Trolley from the airport is to take Bus #992, "The Airport Flyer" that stops at each terminal. Fare was $2.25 (March 2004). TIP: Ask for a transfer to save on the Trolley fare. For example, if you are going to Tijuana, the fare is only $0.25 more. Get off the bus at Broadway and Kettner. Then cross the street to the American Plaza Transit Center. Follow the link below for a full size map.

Hotel for Dad: Best Western Bayside Inn, Holiday Inn On The Bay (68181498, Aug2nd-Aug6th)
Hotel at Sea World: Howard Johnson Inn - San Diego Sea World / Airport (http://hotel-guides.us/ , IHOP, Du-Pars)

Legoland Hotel: HOLIDAY INN CARLSBAD BY THE SEA
850 Palomar Airport Rd - Carlsbad, CA, United States 92008

Santa Monica: http://www.seashoremotel.com/

门票：http://www.citypass.com/attraction/disneyland.html
乐高乐园门票: http://arestravel.com/3872_ticket-list_m86_r610217.html

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LA cheap: http://losangelesonthecheap.blogspot.com/
LA, San Diago:加州旅游热点城市之常见问答: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=267256加
州海岸旅遊 http://calasf.blogspot.com/
鱼的加州纪行 http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=276078&page=3
Getty: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=533694
Getty: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=564797
University Studio: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=537137
Huntington: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=458416
Disney, Legoland: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=533295
Disney: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=378753&page=2
Hotel: http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=630110
住在union station 附近，做地铁也可以去不少地方呢：http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=583202
天文台：http://www.griffithobservatory.org/vshuttle.html
如果要利用公交，买day pass, 能随上随下bus/rail， http://www.metro.net/riding_metro/maps/default.htm
红线的wilshire vermont出口接720可以去一些博物馆(La brea tar pits(http://www.tarpits.org/ )，小学生必去的一站，隔壁就是LACMA http://www.lacma.org/ ), 然后可以一路到Beverly Hills 的shopping area http://www.family-vacation-getaways-at-los-angeles-theme-parks.com/Beverly-Hills-Shopping.html ，再往西就到westwood UCLA了. 红线highland 站是星光大道中国剧院。如果住downtown， Disney concert hall, MOCA, Japan town, the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels http://www.olacathedral.org/ 都可以逛逛。
Hotel Deals: http://hotels.travelzoo.com/california-hotels/

La Jolla Hotel: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g32578-d77444-Reviews-Travelodge_La_Jolla_Beach-La_Jolla_California.html
Mission Bay: http://www.thedana.com/

LA adult school: http://daceweb3.lausd.k12.ca.us/schoolfinder/FMPro
Granada Hills: 17450 Rinaldi St Granada Hills, CA 91344 -3436 (818) 366-9171
Reseda: 18230 Kittridge St. Reseda, CA 913351 818-758-3700
Woodland hill: 5440 Valley Circle Blvd.Woodland Hills, CA 91367

VENICE CAS 13000 VENICE BLVD. LOS ANGELES(310)577-4230
Hotels: http://maps.google.com/maps?sourceid=navclient&rlz=1T4GGLL_enUS310US310&q=13000%20Venice%20Boulevard%20__Los%20Angeles%2C%20CA%2090066&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wl

Discount Theaters: http://www.family-vacation-getaways-at-los-angeles-theme-parks.com/Discount-Theater-Locations.html

http://www.usitrip.com/index.asp?rid=26

CSUN Little Theater: http://www.csun.edu/tadw/Schedule.html
Odyssey Restaurant:http://www.theodysseyrestaurant.com/

明明两岁的事

2009-06-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

弟弟真聪明
妈妈教明明用点鼠标，让他喜欢的歌重新放一遍。他一学就会了。妈妈高兴的夸他：“弟弟真聪明！” 后来他自己每次重复放歌的时候，都会小声说一句 “弟弟真聪明” 来夸奖自己。

爸爸哥哥中国呀
送爸爸和哥哥到机场，明明本来扭着小腿要下来走走的，看到妈妈跟本就没让他下车，带着他开车走了，立刻就大哭起来。后来我说了好几次，爸爸和哥哥去中国了，他才不哭了。明明很想爸爸个哥哥的。想的时候就说：“ 爸爸。。哥哥。。中国呀，妈妈。。弟弟。。。家里呀。” 有时候也说成妈妈。。弟弟。。中国呀，他是不是也想去中国呢？明明还提醒我给爸爸打电话，如果电话说得短了，他就拿着电话反复的哭。明明最喜欢听哥哥叫他弟弟的声音，一听就微微的笑。

唉
那天我带明明出去玩，回来的时候停了车，往后面一靠，不由自主地唉了一声。刚唉完，就听后坐上有人奶声奶气的说：“累死了。” 这个小鹦鹉，什么时候把我的口头语学去了。

两只老虎
哥哥在电话里唱了两只老虎的歌，弟弟印象深刻，教他几次就会了。“两只老虎，两只老虎，一个一个耳朵，一个一个尾巴”让他唱歌的时候他就这么唱。今天，改说：“两只。。。。妈妈。。。。两只。。。爸爸。。。两只。。。弟弟。。。两只。。。。哥哥！”

Arthur's trip to China

2009-06-02T06:09:00.000-07:00

I want Arthur to do a poster in his class after he come back. Here is his stories in China.

Chickens
Arthur: My dad bought me two chickens from the farmer's market. One is brown and one is yellow. I love them so much! My dad keep on telling me don't drop them and don't squeeze them. My head likes them (??). They are getting so noisy so we put them in the box and leave them on the patio. Suddenly a chicken starts to scream! A wild cat eats another chicken! The cat came back with a friend. He wants to share the food with his friend. Sword, where is my sword! I want to kill the cat and save my friend!

I only have one chicken left and it is so lonely. My dad take me to the market to buy another chicken. We didn't find any this time. The left alone chicken was eaten by the cat during night. Cat, why don't you eat mouse?

Dad: Two chicken costs me just 1 yuan, taking the taxi, and the replacement pet(a fish) cost 4 yuan. Arthur had a lot of fun with the chicken.

School
Arthur: The new school is so much fun! Jigsaw, I had never played jigsaw before! It isn't right to sit inside of the jigsaw. You got to share it with another friend and sit at the sides.

Dad: I can't believe the tuition of the school. It is just 150 yuan per month! The school is very safe and Arthur loves it.

Uncles and aunts
Arthur: I love my uncles. My uncle one has a dog named fox. He has a big, no, buge vegetable garden, too! My uncle two has no hair, and a big belly.
I don't like my aunts. They are old and they are woman.

Mom: Arthur! Mommy is a woman and mommy will be very old! If you say that again to your aunts, I will spank your ass until it turns into a flower!

Comments from mom: We didn't do a good preparation at this point. We tried to build the connection between Arthur and his grandpa and grandma, but ignored other relatives. We should have showed him the photos of other relatives so he got know them more.
Arthur doesn't like girls before he left. I didn't know that he doesn't like woman either.

Travel Information in Beijing Shanghai

2009-05-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

Book the hotel: 携程旅游订票网站: http://www.ctrip.com/ , 可以免费送票.
http://www.daodao.com/
北京蟹岛: http://www.xiedao.com/ , 天安门广场晚上放风筝, 自然博物馆看恐龙
木偶剧场 http://www.puppetchina.com/baknew/
皇家粮仓: http://bj.piao.cn/ticket-3705.html http://www.dianping.com/shop/2484121
京深海鲜批发市场: http://www.chinafeed.org.cn/cms/_code/business/include/php/224158.htm
上海市居住证: http://www.21cnhr.gov.cn/xinxi/file.jsp?f_ID=3563
海归生活指南 -- 上海 http://news.wenxuecity.com/messages/200905/news-gb2312-859631.html
http://www.bnuchild.com/ArticleContent.asp?id=2106
北京师范大学兰蕙公寓电话：58806000地址：校内西南角
价位：标准间 240元三人间 270元（仅1间）
北京师范大学新松公寓电话：58807890 地址：校内图书馆东侧
价位：标准间 200元（一、四层），220元（二、三层）
北京师范大学京师大厦电话：62205481 价位：标准间 438元（协议价）
北京师范大学专家楼电话：58807642 地址：校内教育管理学院北侧（紧挨着）
价位：一室一厅360元、二室一厅480元
北京师范大学励耘学苑:
http://www.bj-realestate.com/cn/liyuangongyu.html 北京酒店式公寓,丽苑, 2室2厅2卫,140平方米,浅色的实木地板. 主卧是1米8的大床,次卧是1米5的. 如果带着两个孩子的妈妈,这里是最好的选择. 门童和前台服务都很热情, 楼层服务员也很负责. 最赞的是有洗衣干衣机 Lee Garden, Expedia上可以直接订，大概是100-150之间

单身妈妈

2009-05-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

May 25, 2009

今天，送走了远远。看他背着小书包，紧紧地跟着爸爸走开了，心里并不是很担心。远远有个好爸爸，细心仔细爱孩子。我就怕他在国内被拐卖了，或者被车撞了。南方周末的关于贩卖小孩的文章读起来真让我不寒而栗。（http://news.sina.com.cn/s/sd/2009-05-25/173617886260_3.shtml）我们国家要是把治理法轮功的时间精力用来打击人贩子，咱老百姓生活的也安心些。

现在我一个人带一个孩子是多么幸福的事情啊！心里是如释重负的感觉。才明白为什么每天都不愿意做家务，原来是累的。操持四口之家每天是多么繁琐的事！

May 26, 2009

远远到了中国，电话里特别的激动，一直说到姥姥家了。他们的旅途特别的顺利。明明很乖，我带他去图书馆。好久没有安心的找书了。每次带两个孩子来都特别的紧张，怕他们吵闹。只有体验过负重才会感激轻松的时刻。

要干的家务：彻底清洁家里，包括擦玻璃，整理衣服，柜子，不要的东西都处理掉。
可干的：刷门，刷浴室，安窗帘，书房重新整理。

后记：家务干了一部分。已经是成果很大了，都是计划多年的小事。

6 月 28

我和明明的浪漫时光快到头了，这周日是我们两人世界的最后一个周日。我计划了个浪漫早餐。查了好久查了个很近的评价还不错的地方，晚上发现是只要现金。我周六喜欢去家旁边的农夫市场，这个地方是新开的，没什么生意，我一般喜欢照顾那些小摊上的生意，把手上的钱都花得七七八八的。钱包里就7块钱了。早晨的时候凑了两块钱的硬币就去了。一进门，和蔼的老板问我喝什么我居然脱口说桔子汁。心里直后悔。点单的时候我就说我只有9块钱，waitess 也没说什么。后来结帐的时候还很尴尬的，小费不够。他们一直说没关系，我还过意不去，到车里又找了些硬币当小费。他们肯定心里说我没钱还去餐馆。明明喝桔子汁的时候又大喊大叫要喝我的，还要用吸管，后来还大方的把他的有盖的小杯给我喝。我怕他撒了，一直帮他，还要和他得独立性斗争。真是够累的。早餐也不像网上说的那么好吃，不过那里的老板真是特别的好，一直照顾我们母子。

后来带明明去我们学校的桔子园，居然难得的看到有专业人员在摘桔子。明明玩了一阵，我就带他去要桔子吃。原来是一群志愿人员摘了桔子帮助穷人。我和其中的一个人聊了好一阵，借了她用的工具摘了一个，桔子还是很好吃的。平时我们来只能望着高处的桔子叹气了。

虽然没有浪漫早餐，但是有浪漫的早晨，还是不错的。以后出去吃饭还是等明明大些才好。

Plan for the summer vacation

2009-05-05T14:25:00.000-07:00

Summer Schedule for Grandpa: July 1st - Aug 20th.

流水账记一记
老爸来这里５０天，６月３０号到，７月１－４，好莱坞看看，getty 看看， Huntington 看看，他们特别喜欢那里的沙漠园。然后他们就上飞机去夏威夷了，在那里住Hilton, 还是很开心的。然后飞西雅图参加supervacation的加拿大团，痛苦的旅行开始了。从加拿大飞赌城，住trump, 他们还是很喜欢那个酒店的。有厨房，没赌场。

赌城回来后，一起去了SEAL BEACH, 住PACIFIC INN, 然后到anaham, 住 disney 门口的 tropicana inn，然后到中国城的林肯酒店（montary park, lincoln hotel），参加去三藩的团(american asian), 回来后还在林肯住1天，参加东部名人假期的６天游， ( http://www.peonytours.com/CN_new/ec_reservations.asp )反应是林肯酒店很差，三藩还是应该自己去，东部一定要去。然后参加墨西哥的油轮。

July 1-5 : LA 洛杉矶
６月３０：接飞机，送旅馆 http://www.hojo.com/HowardJohnson/control/Booking/property_info?propertyId=01759
(顺利接到，看飞机即时更新网站信息，晚点半小时，落地的时候我出门，还是早到了一点，才知道我们的机场如果接不到人是可以一圈一圈的转的）

７月１号：学校报到，银行开账户(10am)，见DAISY
７月2,３／４号：洛杉矶
７月４号: http://www.pubclub.com/fourthjuly/losangeles.htm
Channel Island Harbor full day activities: http://www.channelislandsharbor.org/events.cfm
Just watch the fireword close to home.

７月５号：下午送机场，去夏威夷， 5天4夜_2 night(晚6:30出发，晚９：３０到夏威夷）
夏威夷中华旅游: http://www.ctshawaii.com/tour_packages/tour_packages.html
夏威夷 tour infor : http://www.charmingholidays.net/files/101.pdf

７月１1号：飞西雅图 , （中午１２：５５出发，晚９：４０到，住机场旁边的 Holiday Inn, ２４小时有shuttle)
７月１2号：西雅图，参加(super vacation)７天６夜的去加拿大的团
http://www.americaasia.com/tour.aspx?locale=zh-TW&tourid=104
comment: don't go to this tour with this company again.

７月１8-23号：从加拿大温哥华飞拉斯维加斯（下午３:30出发，晚６：２０到）
Hotel: trump
Show: O show

July 23, pick up at the airport: 2:30, stay at Raddison hotel

Aug 1-6: East Coast http://www.peonytours.com/CN_new/pages/eastcoast/ec_itinerary_1.asp?tourcode=ec_56days

Aug 9-16: cruise to mexical.

7-8天 Hawaii:
http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&ID=586256
http://www.gns-travel.com/hawaiitour6days.html More infor: http://www.huaren.us/index71.asp?boardid=328&topicmode=15

5 天 Yellow stone: 黄石公园 4天3夜: http://www.gns-travel.com/yellowstone4days.html http://blog.huaren.us/user1/137/archives/2005/4826.html 黄石Teton八日游记 http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=463790&page=2 黄石大提顿游记 http://www.huaren.us/dispbbs.asp?boardid=328&Id=437795&page=2
Tour group: http://www.lulutrip.com/index.php?cmd=showtour&tourcode=170

DC: Hotel: http://www.lenfantplazahotel.com/

Memorial Day 北岭年度华人聚会（２００９）

2009-05-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

五月的最后一个星期一是国家的假期. 这个长周末和我家老二的生日靠得特别近，大学里又正是一个学期的结诉。我们准备每年这个时候都在我家的附近的公园都办一次华人聚会。朋友们都很忙，有了孩子后周末都忙孩子，聚会的时候很少了，有的朋友都一两年没见过了。

今年很幸运，联系到学校里的少林功夫班，他们也很高兴来做个表演，表演后会留下吃午饭，大家一起热闹热闹。

我准备的小孩活动：气球，水球，吹泡泡，画糖果包，打糖，然后每个小孩会带糖果和小礼物回家。

小孩子的吃的：蛋糕，三明治，水果，饮料。大人的吃的：凉面，热狗，饮料，餐具，烧烤用具，另外朋友会带吃的来。

聚会我们花了很多时间准备。因为是第一次准备这样的大型活动，没有经验。以后会更容易的。比如前一天晚上去占地方就是多余的，第二天清洁工把我们的桌布都扔了。另外烧烤也不用带自己的烤架了。这次只有一个人带烧烤的东西。还有小孩子画画的节目就没派上用场。小孩子还是喜欢户外活动。吹泡泡，音乐，打糖，都很受欢迎。功夫节目就是聚会的亮点了。

朋友很捧场，聚会很成功，辛苦很有成就感。

功夫班的两个老师。都太帅了！绝对的俊男靓女。Lynelle 我们再学校的文艺表演见了就特别的惊艳。一条棍子舞得特别漂亮。这次又有了些接触，人特别的爽快热心。早晨和她握手，竟然是特别温柔的美女，而且教孩子们练习也特别仔细耐心。生女当如是。

小朋友学得都很专心呢。有几个小朋友一招一式都特别的到位呢。

明明在打糖。我们这里墨西哥人给小孩过生日都用个纸糊的东西，里面装糖果，然后小孩子们打糖，是生日聚会上的必备活动。我这个彩蛋是自己做的。老公说肯定不成功。实际上还很不错呢！蛋糕是我平生做的第二个，比做第一个快多了。还是一样的受欢迎！我也很高兴被人称赞。

踏青

2009-04-15T22:58:00.000-07:00

春天到，去踏青。野兔跑，鸭子游，哥哥跳，弟弟叫。

如蝴蝶飞过花间, 蜻蜓划过水面

我的目光掠过你的面庞, 停留到远处的山峦

这里的夏日有阳光的暴晒

落雨就是奇迹的到来

许多年前飘落窗前的凤凰花奇异的香

早已不见了的教学楼夏日槐树的浓荫

十年前遗失的泰戈尔的飞鸟集

异国他乡古老的窗前

也曾静静的落下秋叶

第一次野营

2009-04-03T14:34:00.000-07:00

YMCA Camp Whittle (http://www.ymcala.org/Metro/Webpage.aspx?ID=636 )

远远远明明的第一次野营，其实也是我们两个的第一次野营。说是野营，其实有人管住管吃管安排节目，我们就开车过去就好了。听起来简单，但带着两个小孩子，各种东西准备下来，车里都快装不下了。临出发前两天才知道虽然提供住处，但睡袋枕头要自己准备，又是忙乱一阵。周五的时候，远远的学校打电话让我接。见到他，就看他的右脸肿得睁不开眼，鼻子出血。原来是玩他们班的荷兰猪过敏了。带他看医生，忙忙碌碌，出发的时候都是堵车的时间了。

野营的地点是在离我家１５０公里的一个海拔２８００米的山上的大熊湖 (Big Bear Lake). 朋友中早就有人经常去那里滑雪，可我们还没去过。路上堵车堵了一个多小时，好不容易开到山下天还是亮的。七拐八弯的上了山，幸好不是天黑开山路。这个山海拔虽然高，但路基本还是安全的。路边都有护栏，如果冲出去也有很多的树栏着。不过我自从生了明明就有了恐高症，虽然旁边是白雪黑松，云蒸霞蔚，我也并不敢多看。

开到了山顶，居然看到了高山平湖。山上小镇人家，另有一番风光。找到住处的时候，天已经全黑了。住得地方比想得要条件好，两家人住一个loudge，有很大的厨房和客厅呢。远远洗了澡，高高兴兴就爬到上下床的上面，跟我说：“妈妈我喜欢这里”。

周六我和激动的明明先起来，在木屋外走了走。古木森森，白雪皑皑，空山不见人，但闻明明叫。

周六的活动很多，早晨吃了饭就是自我介绍。这是我们参加的YMCA组织的活动，来了有１６家。各个家家长介绍自己的家人。没有小小孩来，明明２２个月，就是最小的了。最大的孩子也就十一二岁。早晨的活动是小孩子射箭，做手工，看野营站的爬行动物。我还是第一次摸蛇呢。午睡后是做马车，去petting zoo. petting zoo 远远明明都去过很多次了，不过见的都是性格温和的喂得饱饱的小动物。这次看的是农场的羊啊马啊，个个都很凶的样子。我们在石头上留了些饼干，那些羊一拥上来，差点连明明一起吃了。

老公的终身大事

2009-02-01T23:03:00.000-08:00

老公的终身大事其实也是我们家里的大事。如果他的终身教授不能通过，我们一家人的生活都会改变。好在上周五终于拿到信，他们系里系主任和委员会都推荐他通过终身的评审，然后要等学院和学校的最后评审。因为他们系里的要求高于学院和学校的要求，所以希望后两关都能顺顺利利的。压在我们心上的石头终于落地了，从此后，老公想得是可以专心做他想做的事情了，我想得是终于可以一家人多在一起了。

最新更新：顺利拿到了学院的推荐。

最新更新: 周六晚上带明明在外面玩，朋友来电话让我回家看信箱。我急急忙忙回家赶，终于看到让老公想念很久的副校长的信。一切很顺利，终身拿到了。想一想这些年真是不容易啊！我认识几个成就很好的教授，他们的太太基本都是全能太太，老公不管家里的事情。其中一个，两个儿子的尿布都没换过一片。我家的给家里也花了很多时间，心血。能有今天的结果我很知足了。

拉斯维加斯赌城圣诞游

2008-12-27T23:10:00.000-08:00

两年前去过一次赌城，那时候远远小，不到两岁，我们又没做计划，住得远，玩得很痛苦，觉得赌城实在不是带孩子去的地方。这次带两个孩子，明明才一岁半，远远4岁，还是很累人的，但是因为计划好，玩得还是很是很开心的，是我们不多的成功的旅行中的一次。

赌城的主要活动有两个：看节目和赌博。这两个都是儿童不宜的。我把一个介绍节目的小册子仔细研究，就看到有三个节目是针对有小孩的家庭的。旅馆楼下有卖票的，我们买到了 DIRK ARTHUR http://www.tropicanalv.com/ent_dirkarthur.asp 的魔术的票。这个节目还是很好看的，舞台上美女变老虎, 明明一开始吓哭了，后来习惯了音响刺激，也很开心的。

我们还看了一些旅馆的免费的表演， WYNN的立体水幕（很好看，就是太短，一个大青蛙出来唱了一个歌）， MIRAGE的火山喷发（好看，远远吓哭了，明明也跟着哭，真没出息）， CASEAR的水族观（好看，远远明明都太高兴了），VENITIAN的歌舞（好看！另外我们还做了刚多拉小船，一家人50刀，不便宜也不太好玩），BELAGIO的温室花房和玻璃花屋顶（节日布置得很漂亮），城里的灯光天幕（太好看了！），远远最喜欢的还是我们住的旅馆的杂技表演，可惜我们忙着赶场看其他的，没有让他尽兴。

赌城的自助餐是最著名的. 我们圣诞前一天去了BELLAGIO 吃早午餐, 就是早餐和午餐一起的. 因为是节日, 供应香槟, 我们两个要77刀,还好孩子不算钱. 实在太好吃了, 很多早餐我都没见过, 现在想起来还流口水. 后来听说WYNN的自助也很好,留到下次去吧. 因为有孩子, 很多时候吃饭都是图方便. 这次出门带了很多零食, 包括方便面, 还是很有用的.

到了赌城, 吃了玩了怎么也要赌一次. 最后的圣诞夜, 两个孩子都睡了,我们两个偷偷的溜出来去玩老虎机. 我玩了五分钱的, 第一个机器居然赢了50! 一分钱的机器也好玩,一块钱能玩很久. 25 分的最不好玩, 五块钱下去一下就没了. 好在我比较知足,拿了我的50刀就走人了. 50刀给了我美好的回忆.

回来的路上随便去了个墨西哥的餐馆，圣诞的早晨还开门，居然生意不错，一试之下，真是好吃便宜啊，下次还去. Casa Jimenez Restaurant (760) 252-3346925 Barstow RdBarstow, CA 92311
两个孩子都分别生病. 真盼望一次没有孩子的旅行啊.

Free Show Plan (http://www.lasvegas.com/attractions/freeattractions.html)
Free Show: http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=travel&MsgID=155892

1. The Aquarium at the Silverton Hotel Details (3333 Blue Diamond Rd.)Hours of operation: Open daily, 24 hours. Daily fish feeding from 1:30 p.m., 4:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. The mermaid show runs from Thursday - Sunday, between 2:30 p.m. - 6:45 p.m., every 15 minutes (excluding fish feeding times). Schedule is subject to change, so please call for updated times.

2. Fountains at Bellagio Bellagio (Every hour on the hour Sunday - Thursday, 10 a.m. - 11 p.m.; )Conservatory (3600 S. Las Vegas Blvd.)"Fioro di Como," a glass sculpture by artist Dale Chihuly, commissioned exclusively for Bellagio. The colorful sculpture is located above the front desk lobby and features more than 2,000 individually blown glass pieces.

3. Fall of Atlantis and Festival Fountain shows at Caesars Forum Shops(3570 S. Las Vegas Blvd.)Every hour on the hour Sunday - Thursday, 10 a.m. - 11 p.m.; Once the show concludes, take a walk behind the fountain and check out more than 100 species of ocean life in a 50,000-gallon saltwater aquarium.

4. Fremont Street Experience, 425 Fremont St.Hours of operation: Viva Vision show times are 6:30 p.m., 8 p.m., 9 p.m., 10 p.m., 11 p.m. and midnight. stop at Krispy Kreme, grab a doughnut and enjoy the Fremont Street Experience from the comfort of an outdoor patio.

远远的衣服

2008-12-14T17:33:00.000-08:00

远远从小就不喜欢新鲜的衣服，给他买衣服都选和他旧衣服接近的买，如果有了新样子的衣服，都要费尽口舌才能让他穿上。现在年纪大了，会表达了，最近给他穿衣服，如果夸他漂亮，他就一脸不高兴得说：“我不喜欢漂亮衣服”。为了骗他穿新的衣服，我都要说：“这是姥姥自己做的衣服，真是不漂亮啊，快来穿。”“这是一个阿姨给你从北京买的衣服，太不漂亮了，快来试试。”上次给他买个红色绒衣，现在坚决不穿，是不是因为我说他穿了特别的漂亮呢？只好等一等，等他忘了再骗他穿了。

两个孩子的不同,总是让我惊奇. 明明特别喜欢新鲜事物, 去买鞋的时候, 自己就把自己的旧鞋脱掉, 等不及我结帐交钱也要穿新鞋. 现在远远大了, 如果有样子朴实的新鞋, 也能穿在脚上. 他小时候, 让他试一试新鞋时多莫艰难的事情啊.

新工作，旧工作

2008-12-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

今天，换工作的事情终于最后敲定了。明年，2009 年一开始，我就去新单位报到了。我会和我们家领导在一个单位，远远幼儿园从新单位走路就到。新单位离家就10分钟的路，我现在的工作每天总共三个小时的赶路时间，新旧对比，实在是天上地下。我原来还很爱名声，也觉得夫妻两个最好在不用的单位。UCLA学校的名声是很大，工作也很有挑战性，工作软环境也很好，但是长时间的开车坐车实在是太累人了。我已经坐了一年的公车了，有时候误车了，有时候车来晚了，有时候要站半小时才能有座，经常是早晨等车时候太阳还没出来，冷风透骨。我拿了图书馆的学位后，还想着做个图书馆员。现在年纪大了，一切都以家庭为中心，实用为根本。夫妻两个在一个单位多好，也许我们都不需要两个车了；单位名声小点，工作难度低点，工资还高了一点，这是多好的事啊；我自己的身份背景去申请图书馆员的工作，是用自己的短处和美国人的长处竞争，图书馆员的工作合适的还非常少，我找网页程序员的工作，这次都没有特别认真地找，申请了4个工作居然有三个面试，最后拿到的是4个工作中最适合我的，在这个到处都是裁员的时候，实在是太幸运的事情了。生活真是越来越好了。

不过我换工作后，原来打算的09年夏天全家回国探亲的计划就被打乱了。我现在一年有15天的带薪假期，我已经攒了一年的假期了，换工作后就没有假期了。现在有两个计划，一个是让孩子爸爸带两个孩子先回去，然后我在回去，大家一起回来。这个计划就是要辛苦爸爸，带两个孩子出这末远门是很麻烦的，还要麻烦两边的家里人，还要和两家商量。北京家里如果有困难，可以直接从北京飞南京。另一个计划就是孩子爸爸带远远回去，我和明明就不回去了。这个计划最简单，也不怎末麻烦家里人，带一个孩子还是很容易的，尤其远远又很乖。

update: 我换工作的时候，同事就警告，说别当的别人裁员的挡箭牌。没想到，我一年的试用期才过了一半，就传来了州内财政紧张，我们的资金要大幅度降低。现在是每个人减薪10%至少一年，另外还是要裁员。不知道减薪后裁员的幅度由多大，如果不减薪，那三分之一的工作要给裁掉。

update: 我换工作的时候就有同事提醒，说别成了人家裁员的挡箭牌。政府工作裁员是安年头来，干的短的先走。谁知道来了才半年，试用期还没过，就传来要裁员的消息。加州经济危机，我们直接受影响。我和老公都要降１０％的薪水，就这样，也不能保证不裁员。而且这次裁员没有什么走路费。
即便是早知道是这样，我也会接受这份工作的。两个孩子的家，又没人帮忙，当妈妈的不可能每天三个小时在路上的。

关于自制生日蛋糕

2008-11-29T14:43:00.000-08:00

话说作生日蛋糕，首先要下定决心，这件事很容易，但也要有经历失败的准备。我第一次是奶油不成功，也不知道蛋糕都要放凉了再装饰，结果是很糟糕的。学习作奶油，练习挤花也费了些时间，好在我的失败的作品也是受儿子欢迎的。

我做蛋糕，是从这些帖子开始学习的：

1。巧用Cake Mix做改良蛋糕 http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=cooking&MsgID=712446

2。Choo Choo train cake http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=cooking&MsgID=759390

3。爱厨 http://www.euphocafe.com/guide/guide.html ，主要学习作奶油，抹奶油的指示。

4. 奶油生日蛋糕的心得: http://web.wenxuecity.com/BBSView.php?SubID=cooking&MsgID=830576

提醒一下，千万别让爱厨给吓倒了，作简单的类似火车蛋糕用不了那末复杂，不过理论知识还是要具备的。

step 1, 工具：第一次作别怕投资，考虑到我们做上十个八个后就能收回成本，前期投入还是必要的。我买了有：颜料，抹刀，cake decoration set, 烤盘，手提電動攪拌器（10刀左右的就行，爱厨网站有图），还考虑到蛋糕运输的问题，买了个有提手的蛋糕盒子。其实我还买了一些没什末用的东西，再此略过不提。

step 2，蛋糕：蛋糕原料就按上面改良蛋糕的方子就行，我做了两层，蛋糕被我搬来搬去的一点事都没有。蛋糕做之前要往烤盘里喷油，用cooking spray. 做好的蛋糕要放凉。如果是做两层的，中间我用了瓶果酱。

step 3，奶油：奶油要买heavy wipping cream, 要大盒的，另外还要cream cheese，这是爱厨的方子。两样东西放在干净的容器里（没水没油），再加糖粉，攪拌器打成凝固的奶油。如果没有cream cheese, 我以前加过淀粉，不好吃但也有凝固的效果。没有糖粉，加糖也凑合，提前放，让糖融化融化在打。

奶油打好，要注意放冰箱保持低温。我加颜色的时候，都是从冰箱里取出一部分调色。

最后一步就是装饰了，这是个熟能生巧的技术，多练习几次。我也是初学，没什末经验呢。

Thanksgiving 菜谱

2008-11-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

火鸡都连着烤了三年了，今年照旧。
沙拉：芒果沙拉，白灼虾（这个要考虑下，那末大的虾，又不是新鲜的）
菜：土豆沙拉，烤红薯，cranberry source, stuffing
main: 火鸡
soup: ??
drink: wine, juice

1.芒果沙拉: 就是把芒果（较硬点的芒果切出来比较好看）切成丝，还有胡萝卜丝，西红柿丝，加蒜泥，香菜末，小辣椒末（就是那种特辣的朝天椒）鱼露，盐，糖，柠檬汁，一拌即可
another: 色拉（虾仁，黄瓜，彩椒，豆皮，番茄，红萝卜，松仁），

2. 烤大虾: 虾525克，洗净沥水，去掉上半截壳备用，绍酒2茶匙，盐1/2茶匙，白胡椒粉1/8茶匙，香油2茶匙，蒜蓉2茶匙，辣椒粉1/2茶匙（McCormick Paprika，COSTCO可买，孜然粉（Cumin）1/2茶匙。 8寸长竹签7根。菜籽油1大匙。
做法：将洗净的虾拌上2料腌20分钟，将腌好的虾穿在竹签上，放入铺了锡箔纸的烤盘上，刷上点菜籽油，入预热至375F/190摄氏的烤箱内，烤5-6分钟即可。

这个菜后来换成了大虾冷盘,就是买的熟虾, 用个小碟子放catchup, 自己沾着吃. 不太受欢迎.

3. Stuffing: 晚上睡前，泡一小碗糯米和几个香菇
香菇，胡萝卜，冬笋（水煮真空袋装德，比罐头的好吃多了）切丁，和葱花一起下有过爆香，倒入糯米，香菇水别浪费了，一起到进来, 半只柠檬挤汁滴在糯米饭上

4. cranberry sauce（orange juice 0.5 cup, water 0.5 cup, sugar 3/4 cup, bring to boil at medium temp, add a bag of cranberry, bring to boil again then cover and simmer for 10 minutes)

smashed potato: http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/appetizer-side-dish-recipes/manchego-smashed-potatoes/article.html

5. 烤turkey 的时候，扔几个红薯进去烤，就是一个side dish，上桌的时候可以按老美的习惯加上红糖和butter

6. 一碟甜面酱，黄瓜条，大葱丝。另外用豆芽，胡萝卜丝，冬笋丝，葱丝清炒一碟，可以一起卷着turkey吃，不那么腻

后记: 宾主尽欢啊, 都说我做得好吃. 第二天,剩菜还摆了一大桌,招待关系比较近的朋友. 剩下的火鸡剩菜吃了有一周. 第一次体会到吃Thanksgiving 剩菜的好处, 前提是这个剩菜要是好吃的剩菜.
=========================================
For the year of 2010, I will prepare:
1. Turkey with baked vege, gravy,
2. Baked yam
3. Green Beans
4. Cake for dessert
5. wine, drink,
6. green onion + sweet sauce
7. Fruit plates

加州的山火

2008-11-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

2003 年我们刚到洛杉矶的时候，正赶上一场秋日的野火烧到附近的一个山头。我们还开车去看热闹, 隔着山沟,看到山火烧到一家人的后院了, 回来我们就收拾了个包, 把护照什么的都放里面, 准备随时逃命呢. 当时空气里的烟灰纷纷的落在车窗上的记忆还犹新呢. 现在想想那时候真是没见过世面. 其实那年的火是很严重的, 但我们还远不在危险区. 我们附近的西米谷当时是四面楚歌, 因为里面住着很多退休的救火员和警察, 所以救火的人都是拼命的, 那么严重的火, 不过才烧了几家房子.

我们来之后, 洛杉矶基本是年年都着火, 有时候远点, 有时候近点, 我们基本都没什么危险. 洛杉矶这里原来是一片沙漠, 靠别州的水源才有了绿色. 这里一年从二月到十月基本没有雨, 冬天下些雨, 山上的灌木矮树就会生机勃勃, 到来年夏秋时机, 洛杉矶就会刮热热的大风, 在大风天里, 这些晒黄的植物就是火源. 如果前一天晚上有热风刮起, 基本第二天就会报道说哪里哪里有火了.

今年的冬天来得特别晚,这都十一月末了, 天热得还象夏天一样. 今年的火也特别的多, 好几次都烧得离我家很近. 有一次我在上班, 知道了着火的消息, 赶紧做最早的车往回赶. 在车站等车的时候, 有个老太太都快哭了, 她家里的清洁女工把浇花的水都打起来, 还在给她守着房子. 我把远远和一个朋友的孩子接回家, 尽量不让他们觉得太紧张, 但是远远看到山上的火还是很激动的. 虽然我们能看到火, 但因为风向的原因, 基本上空气还是干净的. 朋友全家不能回家, 后来说她们的邻居看到的就烧了三家. 她还愤愤地说, 如果风向转的话, 烧得就不是中产的家而是豪宅了. 还真是, 没几天就又有一场大火, 烧了有200多家的豪宅.

周六起来，就看天色不对，打开电视一看，果然，前几天烧过的一个地方又开烧了。那里离我们开车有不到10分钟的样子。这次我们在下风口，空气里烟尘特别多。我们磨磨蹭蹭，到10点钟断电了才收拾了出门，到远处的一个公园玩了几个小时，回来的时候就好多了，没有那末大的烟味了。周日的时候，火烧到更南的几个地方，空气还是不好，但是两个孩子都病了，不能离开家，我们就在家里呆着了。这次烧了我们附近几百家的汽车房，这是穷人的房子。水火无情。

注：我家住的地方不靠山，一般情况下都没什末事情的。如果哪一年烧到我家，那就是巨大的天灾了。

明明的近况

2008-11-15T09:22:00.000-08:00

再有半个月明明就一岁半了. 现在他会说:

爸爸 (一般情况下不叫, 有时候在爸爸的威逼利诱下也妥协的叫几声, 一般是对着爸爸叫妈妈)

妈妈 (这个是经常叫,时时叫)

哥哥 (最喜欢的人, 也经常欺负的人, 注意,是小的欺负大的) ，阿姨 (一叫阿姨阿姨就高兴)

爷爷,奶奶, 姥姥,牛牛, 头头 (这都是我们教的了)
鸭鸭(指所有有翅膀的), 车车, 唔唔(指天上就是飞机, 不然就是火车), 鹉(鹦鹉, 我家的玩具, 可以重复简单的词) ，再见（有时候我们打电话忘了说他就大声地替我们说）。。。
不地不地贝贝(所有的小宝宝, 包括自己)

还有就是嘴巴里老有各种各样的声音. 我们说一, 能大声地叫二. 最喜欢去停车场, 因为他啊啊的大叫能听到回音. 最喜欢的玩具除了小火车就是他自己的推车, 出门一定要自己推, 坚决不要别人帮, 除非是哥哥坐进去, 才让人帮他一起推哥哥. 看一岁半的明明推四岁的哥哥真是一景啊.

现在晚上还是和我们睡一个屋, 有时候能在自己的小床睡整觉, 有时候半夜醒了要和我们挤一个床. 最新的本领是自己从浴缸里翻进翻出.

12 月的时候我们就不用阿姨了，一月份我们会送明明去远远原来的学校，明明两岁的时候我们也看好了一个学校可以送。不过12 月可真麻烦，找了好久，终于一个邻居说可以替我们看半个月了。本来以为很容易的事情呢，我们两个年底时间都宽裕，就需要韧带十几天的样子，谁知道那末麻烦，我们还早早帮我们的阿姨找了下家，幸好现在解决问题了。

远远的生日- my gym

2008-11-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

远远生日的时候，我们给他办了个大的生日聚会，请了十几个小朋友，远远的好朋友，还有邻居，我们的朋友中有年级接近的小孩，都请到了。我学习做蛋糕，做的生日蛋糕很受欢迎呢。远远收了很多礼物，礼物虽然多，但没有他想了很久的电动火车。收到的礼物中有几个是附了收据的，我带远远跑了两个店，退了几样礼物，终于买到了他的电动火车。怕明明抢，还一样买了两个。远远高兴得跳起来了：“我有电动火车了！再不是伤心的孩子了！”

A and B in October

2008-10-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Oct 30th

Arthur is so much happier in his new school! He gained 7 pounds in 3 months as the tallest kid in his class! He also made several new friends. His best friends are Pablo and Sofia who are twins. He hugs them every day. I am so glad that he is so happy now. The only bad part is that he forgetting how to write. Starting from yesterday, I have him practice writing every night. In rewarding, I mark a star in the calendar and promised that he will be rewarding with an electronic train once he collects 20 stars.

Benjamin is such a cute kid. He learns everything so quickly. He refused to sit in his highchair now and insists that he will sit at the table like others do. He wants to use pan and likes to scrawl on the papers. What a different boy he is!

We will send Benjamin out in December.

A and B in August

2008-08-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

August 11th
Arthur enjoys swimming a lot recently.

After Weimin came back, I started taking him to the big pool. He loves it! He swims with his head in the water, and with his dog style. It is hard to teach him the froggy style. He drinks water all the time.

Benjamin like to walk around while Arthur's in the water. When he walks on the hot surface, he just started to cry. He doesn't know to walk under the shade even he cried for several times. Yesterday he walked for around 30 steps with me holding just one of his little hands. He swaddled like a duck which make himself so cute!

Days without daddy - week 4

2008-07-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

Monday, July 28th
Time flies, actually, it has been moving slowly. I have to think of how to entertain two kids in the weekend. We stayed at home most of the time this weekend. On Saturday I was very tired, and I took Arthur to see a movie Molly. Arthur got scared after an hour after the movie started. He told me that he missed the baby so we left at once. He told his dad that he is scared in the phone.

On Sunday I took them to a park close by. We enjoyed the quite time in the park for a few hours.

Tuesday, July 29th
Benjamin is walking! He can stand up and move a few steps. He was so happy with this new skill and he kept on practicing. The longest record for yesterday is 16 steps.

There is an 5.8 degree earthquake in Chino Hills which is one hour drive from my home. I feel it at work and it last about 10 seconds. Some of our colleagues went out and none of the cell phone worked. I came back to my office and use my office phone to reach the home. Huang felt it at Northridge and she went out with the baby. I need to prepare for the coming big earthquake which may happen any time.

Earthquake rocks Los Angeles http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/29/earthquake.ca/

Monday, August 4th
I have lost a few pounds in last month. My life is so much easier with Huang's around. I guess that I am still under pressure without Weimin's around. I have to worry about getting on bus on time to pick up Arthur, and entertain both kids in the weekend.

I took Arthur to the Encino farmer's market on Sunday morning and got something good and cheap. The flower is $1 per bunch! Going to farmer's market in one of my very few hobbies. I took them to the Simi valley town center in the afternoon. Arthur loves the fish pond and little train ride there very much. Too bad that I only have 1$ left by the time that I bought the ticket for him. By the time that I found another two dollars in my pocket, the train ride was closed. Still, we enjoyed three hours casual time there with Arthur complained that he didn't get on the train on our way back. Arthur went to play with his friend Branden after dinner. I think that he had a great day.

On Arthur's morning visit to baby and me in my bedroom, Arthur told the baby when he is saying Ba Ba, Ba Ba (daddy): "My daddy is coming back today and he will play with you. " I told Arthur to say Our instead of My. I also use his daddy's coming back as the bait to get him dress up and go to school on time though I am pretty late this morning since baby wake me up in the middle of the night.

I picked up Arthur earlier in the afternoon. He was so happy to see me. "Let's pick up Daddy!". He wanted to share his happiness with the school director, too . "Let's say goodbye to Mrs Roni. " he said. When he went into the office and talked to Mrs. Roni, he was kind of shy, didn't look into her eyes, and said something like "My daddy went to China and come back, and I will pick him up" and so on.

We drove to Flyaway to pick up Weimin. I didn't plan to take the baby but surrendered under his urgency. Benjamin was very happy in the car, and in Flyaway station. He was crawling around, and so his bare feet and legs were all dirty. We waited for half an hour before we saw Weimin. Benjamin caught many eyes as his used to. A nice old lady who worked there told me several times to wash his dirty feet and so I did. That is why daddy didn't see a dirty baby after he got off the bus.

It was like a holiday last night. Baby and Arthur got many presents. I got a surprise present, too. It was so great to have him back.

It was a good experience for me for the last four weeks. I don't know how those single parent handle their kids' request of "I want my daddy/mommy" while they can't fulfill it. Parents tend to give kids whatever they want. I can still tell Arthur that his daddy is in China/Korean, with his grandpa or grandma, and will come back soon with many presents, and he can still talk to his dad on phone. I can't imagine what will happen if Weimin doesn't show up. The bound between us is so much stonger after we build a family with two kids.

Photos

2008-07-25T18:24:00.000-07:00

是真的蛇啊! 远远学校有一次有自然课, 远远摸了蛇,蜥蜴等等.

远远四岁生日我做的蛋糕, 很受欢迎呢. 美国的蛋糕都太甜了, 很多也不用真的奶油,因为做出的花很容易化掉. 这是我第一个成品蛋糕呢.

远远明明在上体操课,其实就是玩.

Days without daddy- week 3

2008-07-21T09:59:00.000-07:00

July 21th, Monday
I bought Edward for Arthur last week. This is one of the Thomas train that he doesn't have and he asked for it for a long time. He started to miss daddy ever since then because I told him that only dad can open the package for him. I have took out two new toys for him to play after Weimin left. I will give him another one since he missed his dad so much.

I took both of them to neighbor's home last night. Arthur enjoy to play with Brenden a lot. Benjamin make both Brenden and his baby brother cried, and kept on bothers two big kids. He also pushed the slide door down. I have to take him home.

July 22th, Tuesday
I took both of them to swim. Arthur took his 'big boat' with him and enjoy it so much. Both of them get up at around 7. Arthur asked for his daddy again.

July 23th, Wednesday
Arthur sang the happy birthday song to his dad on the phone. We came to Northridge for 5 years. 5 years ago, we came to Northridge on Weimin's birthday. We were so excited at that time. The new life in front of us seems to be full of hope. Yes, we got our green card, a family, and a peaceful life.

Arthur said that he didn't want to swim yesterday so we spend sometime on the patio to draw chalk pictures.

July 25th, Friday
People told me that it is easy and fun to have two kids since they can play together. I found it is a lie. I kept Arthur at home for one hour so he can play with his baby. He can Benjamin took turns to cry. I have to keep them seperate.

Videos that I love

2008-07-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

黛玉焚稿: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/mTdKpVUkdXk/

My job:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX0-nqRmtos

Randy Pausch passed away on July 25th, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=related

Days without daddy- week 2

2008-07-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

July 15th, 2008 Tuesday

I wish that I could go to bed earlier but I have to put both of them to sleep. Benjamin didn't sleep well and Arthur wake me up at 6am. He had bleeding nose again. My grandma made a red quilt for my mom. My mom left it with me on her last trip. Arthur loves that quilt so much. It is very soft and warm. I told him to hug it but not to put it on himself but he always put all quilts especially that warm red quilt on himself. He did it last night and it was a hot day. I took that quilt away from him and put it in the closet. It also got his peepee with it. I don't know how to wash it since it is made of cotton and some camel wool as my mom told me.

I usually have some free time to think on the bus. I have thanked my sons for the happiness that they brought for a thousand times. They fill in the holes in my life and in my heart. I enjoy it so much of having them. Sometimes I imagine what to do if I get pregnant again. After we had Benjamin, we missed the life that we can't have since we spend all our extra money on Benjamin. Actually he is more expensive than our expectation. We have to hire a nanny for him and that cost us a lot. Once I see his happy face, my plan for taking Arthur to travel around the world just doesn't seem to be attractive any more. I believe that Arthur will cherish his brother more than the memory of going to some weird place and see some weird people.

Arthur got used to the life without dad. Last week, he will mention his dad in a sudden. For example, he will say:"My dad will bring me present" when he is eating; say ''My dad wear white" when he sees someone passed by; say "I don't wake my dad up, he is sleeping" when he is upstairs. He doesn't say something like these this week.

July 18th, Friday
Arthur had fever on Thursday. He had three accidents and wet his underwears. I kept on asking him to drink water at the same time. Benjamin was doing fine. Arthur had lower fever this morning and I still send him to school. We saw his picture from a natural class and he was sitting there with a big snake on his lap and over his neck. He was so happy!

July 20th, Sunday
I took them to Descondo garden on Saturday. Arthur loves the vegetable garden a lot. Arthur slept for the whole afternoon. He was such a nice boy after Benjamin went to bed at night. I haven't seen such a sweet Arthur for a long time.

I took them to the Balboa park this morning. We bought some vegetable from the local farm.

马俊华：幽暗的深处和隐秘的绽放

2008-07-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

写下这个题目，还是有私心的，希望利用GOOGLE 强大的搜索，让更多的人知道老马。

2004年回国，蒙老马不弃，赠书两本。回来后就不知去向。今天偶然去我家老公的办公室，才看见在书架的最下方，老马的书正和顾城海子的书一起蒙尘，真正的和老马送的那个静谧的佛头一起，成了老公的私藏。不知老马听了会有何感想。

幽暗的深处有两辑。第一辑是2003年的，按时间来看，算是老马赠书时候的新作了。翻开一看，怎么觉得每首都好。我读此辑的时候，正在喧闹的洗车场给老公洗他不忍让人目睹的车，而每首诗，好像带我离开这烈日炎炎的加洲，到了一个浓荫遍地的地方，有清泉安静的流淌，有白色的花温柔的绽放。

如果时光逆转，十年前，我是不会欣赏老马的诗的。那时候，我欣赏的是空灵的虚幻美丽。那时候读老马的诗，只知道他的朴实，却没有感动。老马的诗歌，象是大提琴的安稳沉静的声音，需要安静的耳朵才能听到。做了母亲之后的我，对两个儿子的爱让我的心远离喧憩，变得沉寂下来，这时候，我的心才能被这安静的心曲而打动。我也惊叹文字和图画这些记录人的心的形式，穿越时间和空间，真情实感，总在哪一个角落有人响应。

第二辑是一些旧做，我有些明白，有的不知所云。04年回国的时候，老马提起自己的女儿，面上都是满足和欣赏，那时候我的远远还在我温暖的身体里成长，我还没有体会到为人母的乐趣，实在不能和他心有戚戚。后来远远出生后的一两年，我都在担忧劳累中，身体也不堪负重，直到明明的到来，才开始享受小孩子的可爱。老马自己的心，是否也因为人父而改变了呢？

Some movies

2008-07-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

Weimin left three movies for me to return to blockbuster.

Face off, seems to be a nice movie, too bad that what he got is a special feature disk.

Omega man, I am watching it. It is the early version of The Last Man on Earth.

Another one is a western movie, 3:10 to somewhere, I have no interest at all

Days without daddy- week 1

2008-07-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

July 7th, 2008

I send Weimin to the airport last night. Both kids went to bed after I came back. Huang, our nanny said that it isn't hard to get Arthur off from the TV except he kicked her twice.

Arthur didn't ask for his dad this morning, and he is kind of excited when I told him that the school will offer swim class starting from today. Today is the Crazy Hat day of the school. I don't know what does it mean so I took a big hat out for him. I am glad that Arthur choose the sun cap that he used to wear. The school teacher seems to be surprised when I told her that I brought a hat for this crazy hat day.

Benjamin enjoy the clean patio that I clearned up for him yesterday.

I took both of them to the pool. Benjamin kept balance until the last minute: he rolled over in the pool and I have to grab him out of the water. He didn't cry after it.

Both of them doing fine at night. Arthur enjoyed his Lagos train a lot. It has been put away for a few months.

July 8Th, 2008.

I am so tired this morning. Can't do any work. I called Weimin several times from my cell. Could not make the connection.

Arthur seems to love his new class now. He still likes to take a car with him even after I warned him that he may lose it since he is moving between the new class and old class. Benjamin was very happy this morning, went to the patio and came back all by himself. He is free now. Huang said that he took a book from upstairs and somehow brought it downstairs, (not throwing the book from upstairs). This is a big task for a 13 months old baby since he got to figure out how to get down on the stair backward, and carry the book at the same time.

I took both of them to swim again. Arthur scared his brother once for rolling him around in the water. They two get alone in the water most of the time. Benjamin manure himself very well which make me believe that he will be a good swimmer in the future.

Finally got touch with Weimin at dinner time. He is doing fine in Shanghai. One of our bachelor friend eventually got married. I am very glad to hear this news.

Arthur insisted to sleep on his dad's bed which is a single bed next to his bed with no protection. I was downstairs after he fall asleep and heard a big bump. He fall on the floor and was still sleeping.

July 9th, 2008 , wednesday
Both kids wake up at around 7 recently. I could drop Arthur off before 8am and take the bus at 8:10. I start working after 9 and leave at 4. Just 1 hour earlier than usual.

I took Arthur to a new class in My Gym. This class required parents to be with the kid on the floor since it targets at younger kid. Arthur enjoy it as usual. I kept on thinking of open such a place in China. I can have a series: one my Gym, one daycare center, one bookstore for kids, and one public library. I need a million to launch this project! I even got a name for it: Red Apple Center. I wish that Weimin's rich friend could give up his Rolex watch and start either one place from this project!

I have a complex board meeting and I took both kid to the meeting home. I just wanted to stop by but it turned out that we stayed for one hour in Amenia's home. She has a lot of food prepared and Arthur got alone very well with her two kids. Her six year old boy even put the shoes on for Arthur twice! Arthur just sat there and took it for granted that he should be taken care of by this little boy. Benjamin enjoyed eating a piece of bread on Amenia's lap very much.

Not much too say for the night. Both kids went to bed very well. Arthur was very tired today and he went to bed earlier.

July 10th, 2008 Thursday
I called Weimin after I got to work. A strange voice responded with a hello. In China, people usually pick up the phone with "Weiiii", the European style. So, I asked if I have reached the right room number, and I got the answer as yes. I just hang it up then. It is interesting to speak English this way. I guess that Weimin went to Nanjing already.

July 11th, 2008, Friday
Arthur didn't want to go to school this morning. After we get to the school, he suddenly cried since he didn't bring a car with him. He asked for his car toy and doesn't want to walk at all. I tried my best. With his swim towel and shoes in my hand, I can't do much. I finally lost my patience and slap on his butt, and pull his ear. He cried for daddy.

After we get to his classroom, I asked that teacher for a car to give to Arthur. Lida is not there today, and the other teacher is very mean, insist that he can't get a car until go to bathroom and eat the snack. Finally she went to brought some cars, which are in a plastic can, and said that he can't get a car until he finish his snack. Now I know why Arthur always bring his car to school. It is because he can't play with cars at his free will. Cars are his favorite toys, and he doesn't play anything else!

I feel very guilty for not spoil him. The society is crude and if we can't get comfort from our parents, how cold it will be! I will keep cars in my car and in his cabinet so he can play anytime.

July 11th, Saturday

I took both kids to the Zoo in the morning. Arthur saw tiger, bear, hippo, chipanzee, goat, flamingo, allegator and others. Benjamin played at the playground with Huang. Everyone got so tired and we all took a nap after we came back. After they wake up, I did some shopping and cooked the Beijing Noodle for Arthur. He doesn't like it. I took both of them to the pool. Arthur was a hero for tring to save his brother while he rolled around. When both of them were in the bathtub, I prepared the watermelon for them. Arthur saw a movie at night.

I can't help admiring their life!

July 12th, Sunday
Both kids went to the park in the morning. I did very little exercise there. After they took a nap, I took Arthur to Trader Joe's since he bugges Benjamin every the other minutes. Both of them went to the pool after sunset. I feel Benjamin is a littlt bit hot but not quite sure. He got fever at night and threw up at night. I have to wash everything on my bed. It was a tough night as while. Lukily I was wake up by Arthur on Monday morning and send him to the school. He took a green car with him and put it in his pocket with so much love. I am also luck enough to catch the 8:10 bus.