Days without daddy - week 4

Monday, July 28th
Time flies, actually, it has been moving slowly. I have to think of how to entertain two kids in the weekend. We stayed at home most of the time this weekend. On Saturday I was very tired, and I took Arthur to see a movie Molly. Arthur got scared after an hour after the movie started. He told me that he missed the baby so we left at once. He told his dad that he is scared in the phone.

On Sunday I took them to a park close by. We enjoyed the quite time in the park for a few hours.

Tuesday, July 29th
Benjamin is walking! He can stand up and move a few steps. He was so happy with this new skill and he kept on practicing. The longest record for yesterday is 16 steps.

There is an 5.8 degree earthquake in Chino Hills which is one hour drive from my home. I feel it at work and it last about 10 seconds. Some of our colleagues went out and none of the cell phone worked. I came back to my office and use my office phone to reach the home. Huang felt it at Northridge and she went out with the baby. I need to prepare for the coming big earthquake which may happen any time.

Earthquake rocks Los Angeles http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/29/earthquake.ca/

Monday, August 4th
I have lost a few pounds in last month. My life is so much easier with Huang's around. I guess that I am still under pressure without Weimin's around. I have to worry about getting on bus on time to pick up Arthur, and entertain both kids in the weekend.

I took Arthur to the Encino farmer's market on Sunday morning and got something good and cheap. The flower is $1 per bunch! Going to farmer's market in one of my very few hobbies. I took them to the Simi valley town center in the afternoon. Arthur loves the fish pond and little train ride there very much. Too bad that I only have 1$ left by the time that I bought the ticket for him. By the time that I found another two dollars in my pocket, the train ride was closed. Still, we enjoyed three hours casual time there with Arthur complained that he didn't get on the train on our way back. Arthur went to play with his friend Branden after dinner. I think that he had a great day.

On Arthur's morning visit to baby and me in my bedroom, Arthur told the baby when he is saying Ba Ba, Ba Ba (daddy): "My daddy is coming back today and he will play with you. " I told Arthur to say Our instead of My. I also use his daddy's coming back as the bait to get him dress up and go to school on time though I am pretty late this morning since baby wake me up in the middle of the night.

I picked up Arthur earlier in the afternoon. He was so happy to see me. "Let's pick up Daddy!". He wanted to share his happiness with the school director, too . "Let's say goodbye to Mrs Roni. " he said. When he went into the office and talked to Mrs. Roni, he was kind of shy, didn't look into her eyes, and said something like "My daddy went to China and come back, and I will pick him up" and so on.

We drove to Flyaway to pick up Weimin. I didn't plan to take the baby but surrendered under his urgency. Benjamin was very happy in the car, and in Flyaway station. He was crawling around, and so his bare feet and legs were all dirty. We waited for half an hour before we saw Weimin. Benjamin caught many eyes as his used to. A nice old lady who worked there told me several times to wash his dirty feet and so I did. That is why daddy didn't see a dirty baby after he got off the bus.

It was like a holiday last night. Baby and Arthur got many presents. I got a surprise present, too. It was so great to have him back.

It was a good experience for me for the last four weeks. I don't know how those single parent handle their kids' request of "I want my daddy/mommy" while they can't fulfill it. Parents tend to give kids whatever they want. I can still tell Arthur that his daddy is in China/Korean, with his grandpa or grandma, and will come back soon with many presents, and he can still talk to his dad on phone. I can't imagine what will happen if Weimin doesn't show up. The bound between us is so much stonger after we build a family with two kids.

Photos

是真的蛇啊! 远远学校有一次有自然课, 远远摸了蛇,蜥蜴等等.


远远四岁生日我做的蛋糕, 很受欢迎呢. 美国的蛋糕都太甜了, 很多也不用真的奶油,因为做出的花很容易化掉. 这是我第一个成品蛋糕呢.

远远明明在上体操课,其实就是玩.

Days without daddy- week 3

July 21th, Monday
I bought Edward for Arthur last week. This is one of the Thomas train that he doesn't have and he asked for it for a long time. He started to miss daddy ever since then because I told him that only dad can open the package for him. I have took out two new toys for him to play after Weimin left. I will give him another one since he missed his dad so much.

I took both of them to neighbor's home last night. Arthur enjoy to play with Brenden a lot. Benjamin make both Brenden and his baby brother cried, and kept on bothers two big kids. He also pushed the slide door down. I have to take him home.

July 22th, Tuesday
I took both of them to swim. Arthur took his 'big boat' with him and enjoy it so much. Both of them get up at around 7. Arthur asked for his daddy again.

July 23th, Wednesday
Arthur sang the happy birthday song to his dad on the phone. We came to Northridge for 5 years. 5 years ago, we came to Northridge on Weimin's birthday. We were so excited at that time. The new life in front of us seems to be full of hope. Yes, we got our green card, a family, and a peaceful life.

Arthur said that he didn't want to swim yesterday so we spend sometime on the patio to draw chalk pictures.

July 25th, Friday
People told me that it is easy and fun to have two kids since they can play together. I found it is a lie. I kept Arthur at home for one hour so he can play with his baby. He can Benjamin took turns to cry. I have to keep them seperate.

Videos that I love

黛玉焚稿: http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/mTdKpVUkdXk/

My job:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aX0-nqRmtos

Randy Pausch passed away on July 25th, 2008
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo&feature=related

Days without daddy- week 2

July 15th, 2008 Tuesday

I wish that I could go to bed earlier but I have to put both of them to sleep. Benjamin didn't sleep well and Arthur wake me up at 6am. He had bleeding nose again. My grandma made a red quilt for my mom. My mom left it with me on her last trip. Arthur loves that quilt so much. It is very soft and warm. I told him to hug it but not to put it on himself but he always put all quilts especially that warm red quilt on himself. He did it last night and it was a hot day. I took that quilt away from him and put it in the closet. It also got his peepee with it. I don't know how to wash it since it is made of cotton and some camel wool as my mom told me.

I usually have some free time to think on the bus. I have thanked my sons for the happiness that they brought for a thousand times. They fill in the holes in my life and in my heart. I enjoy it so much of having them. Sometimes I imagine what to do if I get pregnant again. After we had Benjamin, we missed the life that we can't have since we spend all our extra money on Benjamin. Actually he is more expensive than our expectation. We have to hire a nanny for him and that cost us a lot. Once I see his happy face, my plan for taking Arthur to travel around the world just doesn't seem to be attractive any more. I believe that Arthur will cherish his brother more than the memory of going to some weird place and see some weird people.

Arthur got used to the life without dad. Last week, he will mention his dad in a sudden. For example, he will say:"My dad will bring me present" when he is eating; say ''My dad wear white" when he sees someone passed by; say "I don't wake my dad up, he is sleeping" when he is upstairs. He doesn't say something like these this week.

July 18th, Friday
Arthur had fever on Thursday. He had three accidents and wet his underwears. I kept on asking him to drink water at the same time. Benjamin was doing fine. Arthur had lower fever this morning and I still send him to school. We saw his picture from a natural class and he was sitting there with a big snake on his lap and over his neck. He was so happy!

July 20th, Sunday
I took them to Descondo garden on Saturday. Arthur loves the vegetable garden a lot. Arthur slept for the whole afternoon. He was such a nice boy after Benjamin went to bed at night. I haven't seen such a sweet Arthur for a long time.

I took them to the Balboa park this morning. We bought some vegetable from the local farm.

马俊华：幽暗的深处和隐秘的绽放

写下这个题目，还是有私心的，希望利用GOOGLE 强大的搜索，让更多的人知道老马。

2004年回国，蒙老马不弃，赠书两本。回来后就不知去向。今天偶然去我家老公的办公室，才看见在书架的最下方，老马的书正和顾城海子的书一起蒙尘，真正的和老马送的那个静谧的佛头一起，成了老公的私藏。不知老马听了会有何感想。

幽暗的深处有两辑。第一辑是2003年的，按时间来看，算是老马赠书时候的新作了。翻开一看，怎么觉得每首都好。我读此辑的时候， 正在喧闹的洗车场给老公洗他不忍让人目睹的车，而每首诗，好像带我离开这烈日炎炎的加洲，到了一个浓荫遍地的地方，有清泉安静的流淌，有白色的花温柔的绽放。

如果时光逆转，十年前，我是不会欣赏老马的诗的。那时候，我欣赏的是空灵的虚幻美丽。 那时候读老马的诗，只知道他的朴实，却没有感动。老马的诗歌，象是大提琴的安稳沉静的声音，需要安静的耳朵才能听到。做了母亲之后的我，对两个儿子的爱让我的心远离喧憩， 变得沉寂下来，这时候，我的心才能被这安静的心曲而打动。我也惊叹文字和图画这些记录人的心的形式，穿越时间和空间，真情实感，总在哪一个角落有人响应。

第二辑是一些旧做，我有些明白，有的不知所云。04年回国的时候，老马提起自己的女儿，面上都是满足和欣赏，那时候我的远远还在我温暖的身体里成长，我还没有体会到为人母的乐趣，实在不能和他心有戚戚。后来远远出生后的一两年，我都在担忧劳累中，身体也不堪负重，直到明明的到来，才开始享受小孩子的可爱。 老马自己的心，是否也因为人父而改变了呢？

Some movies

Weimin left three movies for me to return to blockbuster.

Face off, seems to be a nice movie, too bad that what he got is a special feature disk.

Omega man, I am watching it. It is the early version of The Last Man on Earth.

Another one is a western movie, 3:10 to somewhere, I have no interest at all

Days without daddy- week 1

July 7th, 2008

I send Weimin to the airport last night. Both kids went to bed after I came back. Huang, our nanny said that it isn't hard to get Arthur off from the TV except he kicked her twice.

Arthur didn't ask for his dad this morning, and he is kind of excited when I told him that the school will offer swim class starting from today. Today is the Crazy Hat day of the school. I don't know what does it mean so I took a big hat out for him. I am glad that Arthur choose the sun cap that he used to wear. The school teacher seems to be surprised when I told her that I brought a hat for this crazy hat day.

Benjamin enjoy the clean patio that I clearned up for him yesterday.

I took both of them to the pool. Benjamin kept balance until the last minute: he rolled over in the pool and I have to grab him out of the water. He didn't cry after it.

Both of them doing fine at night. Arthur enjoyed his Lagos train a lot. It has been put away for a few months.

July 8Th, 2008.

I am so tired this morning. Can't do any work. I called Weimin several times from my cell. Could not make the connection.

Arthur seems to love his new class now. He still likes to take a car with him even after I warned him that he may lose it since he is moving between the new class and old class. Benjamin was very happy this morning, went to the patio and came back all by himself. He is free now. Huang said that he took a book from upstairs and somehow brought it downstairs, (not throwing the book from upstairs). This is a big task for a 13 months old baby since he got to figure out how to get down on the stair backward, and carry the book at the same time.

I took both of them to swim again. Arthur scared his brother once for rolling him around in the water. They two get alone in the water most of the time. Benjamin manure himself very well which make me believe that he will be a good swimmer in the future.

Finally got touch with Weimin at dinner time. He is doing fine in Shanghai. One of our bachelor friend eventually got married. I am very glad to hear this news.

Arthur insisted to sleep on his dad's bed which is a single bed next to his bed with no protection. I was downstairs after he fall asleep and heard a big bump. He fall on the floor and was still sleeping.

July 9th, 2008 , wednesday
Both kids wake up at around 7 recently. I could drop Arthur off before 8am and take the bus at 8:10. I start working after 9 and leave at 4. Just 1 hour earlier than usual.

I took Arthur to a new class in My Gym. This class required parents to be with the kid on the floor since it targets at younger kid. Arthur enjoy it as usual. I kept on thinking of open such a place in China. I can have a series: one my Gym, one daycare center, one bookstore for kids, and one public library. I need a million to launch this project! I even got a name for it: Red Apple Center. I wish that Weimin's rich friend could give up his Rolex watch and start either one place from this project!

I have a complex board meeting and I took both kid to the meeting home. I just wanted to stop by but it turned out that we stayed for one hour in Amenia's home. She has a lot of food prepared and Arthur got alone very well with her two kids. Her six year old boy even put the shoes on for Arthur twice! Arthur just sat there and took it for granted that he should be taken care of by this little boy. Benjamin enjoyed eating a piece of bread on Amenia's lap very much.

Not much too say for the night. Both kids went to bed very well. Arthur was very tired today and he went to bed earlier.

July 10th, 2008 Thursday
I called Weimin after I got to work. A strange voice responded with a hello. In China, people usually pick up the phone with "Weiiii", the European style. So, I asked if I have reached the right room number, and I got the answer as yes. I just hang it up then. It is interesting to speak English this way. I guess that Weimin went to Nanjing already.

July 11th, 2008, Friday
Arthur didn't want to go to school this morning. After we get to the school, he suddenly cried since he didn't bring a car with him. He asked for his car toy and doesn't want to walk at all. I tried my best. With his swim towel and shoes in my hand, I can't do much. I finally lost my patience and slap on his butt, and pull his ear. He cried for daddy.

After we get to his classroom, I asked that teacher for a car to give to Arthur. Lida is not there today, and the other teacher is very mean, insist that he can't get a car until go to bathroom and eat the snack. Finally she went to brought some cars, which are in a plastic can, and said that he can't get a car until he finish his snack. Now I know why Arthur always bring his car to school. It is because he can't play with cars at his free will. Cars are his favorite toys, and he doesn't play anything else!

I feel very guilty for not spoil him. The society is crude and if we can't get comfort from our parents, how cold it will be! I will keep cars in my car and in his cabinet so he can play anytime.

July 11th, Saturday

I took both kids to the Zoo in the morning. Arthur saw tiger, bear, hippo, chipanzee, goat, flamingo, allegator and others. Benjamin played at the playground with Huang. Everyone got so tired and we all took a nap after we came back. After they wake up, I did some shopping and cooked the Beijing Noodle for Arthur. He doesn't like it. I took both of them to the pool. Arthur was a hero for tring to save his brother while he rolled around. When both of them were in the bathtub, I prepared the watermelon for them. Arthur saw a movie at night.

I can't help admiring their life!

July 12th, Sunday
Both kids went to the park in the morning. I did very little exercise there. After they took a nap, I took Arthur to Trader Joe's since he bugges Benjamin every the other minutes. Both of them went to the pool after sunset. I feel Benjamin is a littlt bit hot but not quite sure. He got fever at night and threw up at night. I have to wash everything on my bed. It was a tough night as while. Lukily I was wake up by Arthur on Monday morning and send him to the school. He took a green car with him and put it in his pocket with so much love. I am also luck enough to catch the 8:10 bus.